Heaven Help Me
by swagUPwindowsDOWN
Summary: Kendall and Logan are certain that they'll be together forever. However, what happens when Logan's religious grandparents storm in and take Logan away from Kendall, to a place full of hurt and torture? When he returns, he doesn't remember his friends, family or his relationship with Kendall. Can they make him see the truth before it's too late? Collab with Lunachu! Please read!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! So this is a collab between me (a.k.a swagUPwindowsDOWN) and the amazing Lunachu! We've wanted to do this for so long and so we finally did! We've worked really hard on this, so we hope you like it! We also hope to update as quick as we can, but she's got several different projects on at the moment and I've got my story, so I can't garuntee updates every week, but we'll try, you never know! **

**On another note, check out her stories, they are awesome!**

**We are really sad that we don't own Big Time Rush, because if we did, it would have LOADS of Logan angst in it!**

**Hope you enjoy! :)**

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"We've seen this movie ten thousand times Kendall, why are we watching it...again?" Logan asked as the opening titles for Miracle came onto the television screen. Kendall smiled and pulled the short brunette closer, sighing happily when he was met with no protest. "Because it holds memories, and besides, will we really be watching most of it?" Kendall smirked raising an eyebrow. Logan chuckled and raised one back. "Will we?" he asked already knowing the answer. It was days like these that the two boys cherished the most. Logan's parents were out, James had dragged Carlos to a Cuda sale at the mall and they had the entire day to themselves. This time they had alone was special. There was never enough of it to begin with. Logan's family, they were different. Religion was a very important part of his life, not his choice, but he grew up that way. He prayed before bed, said grace at lunch no matter where he was, drew the holy cross over himself every time he entered and exited his house and never missed church. He had gone to Sunday school since the age of 3 and had even managed to convince his best friend's and their families to join the church. He had memorised the bible cover to cover and could probably say it backwards! He wore a purity ring and Kendall respected his wishes and beliefs.

When Logan was 15, he had come out as gay to his parents. He knew that this could potentially break his family apart, this was a sin. But, surprisingly, his parents didn't mind, as well as the rest of his family. They said that God would stay by his side no matter what; God wanted everyone to be happy and in modern times, this didn't matter. In fact, his cousin also turned out to be gay as well long before he had admitted it and he was glad that they could still remain as close a family as they were before. However, there was one problem. A big problem called Logan's grandparents. They were the most religious relatives of the family and perhaps the most religious people you would ever meet. They followed the bible through and through and went by all the traditional ways of God. This meant that they believed men were made for women, not other people of the same gender. Mr and Mrs. Mitchell didn't have enough fingers and toes between them to count the numerous amounts of times they had mentioned to them about getting Logan to a counsellor or help so that he could become straight again. Of course, they declined indefinitely, not wanting to do such a terrible thing to their son. All the time they got more and more forceful, more and more pushy to do something, but every time, they would leave in a huff.

Kendall was brought out of his reverie as he heard the sweet laugh of his boyfriend. He had come out as gay even before Logan and as time went on, realised he had feelings more than friendship for the younger boy. He had held it in, for 2 months, but finally came unstuck one summer day, when he went to the beach with his friends. He had spontaneously kissed the smaller form and was delighted when after a moment of utter shock, Logan kissed back. There had started their beautiful relationship, already lasting 6 months. Kendall had met Logan's grandparents once before, only very briefly, but it was enough to know that they completely despised him. You only had to take one look at the disgust on their faces to know that he wasn't their most favourite person in the world. But, for now, they were just enjoying being around each other and having the watching their all time favourite move. Well, at least they were meant to be, but as Kendall said, they wouldn't really be watching it at all. Kendall pulled Logan impossibly closer and rested his chin in the spiky, raven locks, somehow remaining incredibly soft even though Logan used hair gel. He leant down and lightly kissed his forehead, bringing Logan's chin up with his finger and kissed the cherry red lips he had grown to crave. Logan returned the kiss and after a moment of sheer passion, settled against the stronger chest once again. Kendall continued placing gentle kisses to Logan's hairline, smelling the unique smell of Logan: vanilla with a little mint.

Logan sighed lightly, cuddling closer up to the taller boy's chest. His eyes were beginning to droop as the movie continued to play, the soft, continuous beat of his boyfriend's heart lulling him into a gentle daze, the familiar pressure on Kendall's lips on his head helping him feel secure and safe in the strong arms. The sounds around Logan began to blur and fade out as his mind gave in to the peaceful darkness. Cuddling up a little to the reassuring warmth of Kendall, he allowed his chocolate coloured eyes to completely close, mind drifting off to the happy land of dream.

The taller blonde sighed as he felt Logan slowly go more and more lifeless in his arms, a small smile gracing his lips. Kendall couldn't help but feel pure happiness surge through his heart that Logan was falling asleep in his arms; it meant he felt safe and secure. It was a well known fact between the four best friends that Logan would never be able to drift off to sleep unless he was completely comfortable, they had discovered that in the early days of their friendship when school had taken them on camp for a weekend, Logan didn't get a minute of sleep the entire three days.

Noticing that the brunette in his arms had finally completely drifted off to sleep, Kendall reached for the remote control, turning the movie's volume down lower so it wouldn't disturb the boy before beginning to gently thread his fingers through Logan's hair, carefully running his fingertips soothingly on Logan's scalp. His lips twisted into a smile, having to bite his tongue to stop himself chuckling as Logan let out a small purr of content in his sleep, he wished this moment could last forever.

Logan had barely been asleep five minutes when there was a sudden commotion outside. Raised voices could be heard outside the window and Kendall had to rub Logan's stomach (another thing that relaxed him) to make him go back to sleep when he stirred slightly. However, Logan shot bolt upright when the front door burst open and in stormed Logan's grandpa followed by his grandma, with his parents trailing behind. Logan's grandma gasped upon what she saw. "I told you this was getting out of hand! Look at them, look!" she cried pointing a long, bony finger at the two on the couch. Mrs. Mitchell protested.  
"Mother, please, this is not what is best for Logan, he is happy with Kendall, Kendall looks after him..."  
"Looks after him! I'll bet that has a double meaning too! Kendall is nothing but a corruption, Logan needs to be separated from him and taught that this is wrong!" she retorted.  
"What's going on?" Logan asked, afraid of what they were saying.  
"Logan, by being with Kendall, you are going against God, you are committing the greatest sin known to man and the way you're going you shall end up in hell! You are to come with us and we shall get this little matter of judgement sorted" she explained, reaching for her grandson.  
"Little matter of judgement? Grandma I love Kendall, I love him with all my heart. If you think I'm going with you, then you've got another thing coming!" he shouted.  
"If he was not with Kendall, he would not be speaking to his elders in this manner!" she addressed he husband. "John, take Logan and bring him to the car" she directed. He grabbed Logan by the arm and forcefully pulled him off the couch, away from Kendall.

Logan cried out in pain as his shoulder cracked slightly under the force in which his grandfather held onto him with, the forceful tugs pulling him towards the front door threatening to pull his arm from its socket, this possibility intensifying when Kendall wrapped his strong arms tightly around Logan's stomach and waist, trying to anchor him to where they stood. Logan willed the tears to stop as soon as he felt the vicious, stinging pricks behind his eyelids and the tingling of his nose, but he couldn't stop the salty drops trailing down his face as his grandparents and boyfriend began to play a twisted version of tug-of-war with his fragile body. Kendall's voice rang through his head, the pained words almost shattering the little control Logan had on his tears.  
"You can't take Logan away!" He began, the thickness of his voice showing Kendall was just as close to tears as Logan was. "Please, I'd never do anything to hurt him, I respect his and your religion deeply, and I'd never take it away from him!"  
Logan's grandmother glared towards the tall blonde boy who had a vice grip around her grandson's waist. "You have damaged his mind enough, Kendall; his and my dear daughter's judgements are clouded from your actions. John and I now are Logan's guardians, he lives with us now, and we control his actions, there is nothing you nor my daughter can do about it. Now, come along Logan, you now belong to us." With that said by his wife, John gave his grandson a harsh tug, pulling him from Kendall's arms.

Logan's parents and Kendall stared on in complete shock for a moment before snapping back to reality. "What do you mean he belongs to you? He's our son!" Daniel Mitchell shouted at his in-laws. "Not anymore. We told you to sort this out plenty of times, but you never did. We had to take matters into our own hands and sort it out ourselves and the only way to do that was to change Logan's guardians from you to us. He belongs to us" she proclaimed all high and mighty.  
"Logan isn't a thing or an object! He's a human being, with feelings and rights. He doesn't want this and you can't make him go wi-" Kendall was interrupted.  
"But we can. If Logan were to stay here, we could have you arrested for kidnapping or imprisonment. If you try to get him, it would be abduction or trespassing. You can't win" John sent him another harsh stare.  
"Mother, father, please think this through, Logan's our son, our only child, our pride and joy. He's all we've got. Please" she too was now begging, tears pouring from her eyes like a fountain. In fact, there wasn't a dry eye left. Well apart from the emotionless devils. "Logan is to come with us now, he will not need clothes where he's going" Logan's grandma ushered. An audible gulp could be heard.  
"Where am I going?" He asked frightened.  
"A place far away from the corruption here. Somewhere where you will be taught that this" she gestured around. "Is not right, and they'll do that any way possible." With that, Kendall could only watch as Logan was shoved into the vehicle and they mouthed a quick "Love you", before Logan was driven away, Kendall having no idea when he'd see him again.

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**So, that's the first chapter! Was it good/bad/awful? We would really like some feedback on this story so that we know if there is any way we could make it more to your liking or to make it better. So, please could we ask you to review, even if it's only a few words, that would let us know that this has been worth it! **

**Thank you so much!**

**~swagUPwindowsDOWN & Lunachu :) x**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, it's us with another update! Chapter 2! We didn't originally think we'd be writing this story so fast, but we've both found it's so easy to write and we're loving it. We'll try to update on a regular basis like this for all the chapters. We think you're going to like this one though, it's got a twist at the end! But, don't skip to the bottom first! Read it all for the full effect :) **

**Once again, we don't own Big Time Rush, oh how sad that is, but it's the truth :P**

**So here it is, hope you enjoy! :D **

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Kendall's hands nervously ran up and down his bare arms, trying to create a slight friction to warm the skin from the chilly Minnesotan air surrounding him and his two closest friends. James Diamond and Carlos Garcia watched on, worry in their expressive eyes as thick, silvery rivers flowed down Kendall's flushed cheeks; his breath hiccupped every now and again as he tried to explain what had happened.  
"Logie, h-his Grandparents," Kendall stuttered out, breath hitching between sobs. It had only been an hour or so since Logan had literally been ripped from his grasp. "T-they just took him! They said they're his guardians now, t-they're sending him away guys! What if we never see him again?" Kendall squinted his eyes shut, letting his chin drop to his chest as he wrapped his arms around his own stomach, willing the ache in his chest to fade away.  
Carlos looked at him, tears welling in his own brown eyes at seeing their usually strong leader break down in front of them. "It'll be alright, Ken!" He tried to reassure, although his own voice was wavering. "Logan will come back to us soon enough, he's too strong to allow them to break him!"  
Kendall prayed that was true.

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Logan sat staring out of the window as they drove along empty roads. They had been travelling for at least 2 hours and all Logan could think of that this meant he was getting further and further away from his friends and family and Kendall. Kendall. No doubt he would be any better than Logan himself, long since cried himself out of tears and remaining silent the entire journey. His grandparents had tried to talk to him at first, telling him that they were right, that where he was going would sort him out and make him realise that this was not how he should be. Gay. Why couldn't they just say it? It was like it was some forbidden word. What was so wrong with it in the first place? His thoughts stopped abruptly as they pulled up to a big, stone building with barely any windows. They went through three sets of gates before stopping in front of the brown doors. A plaque outside stated what the place was called and what it was there to do. "Holy Christ Reform Centre" it read "Where the damaged are healed". Damaged? Logan knew that they didn't mean injured. He was definitely sure of one thing though. He didn't like this one bit.

He felt his grandmother's hand on his shoulder, pushing him through the large doors ahead with a reassuring smile planted upon her withered face. Logan dug his heels into the dirt below him, refusing to get closer to the place.  
"Logan, honey, you have to go in, and this will make you better." Her shrill voice attempted to ease him into agreeing, placing a little force into her touch on his shoulders, one of which still ached horribly from his grandfathers tugs, those tugs that had dragged him away from his beloved.  
"There's nothing to make better, I'm not broken, and I'm not damaged. Why can't you see that, Grandma? I won't be happy here." He felt his eyes prick again with salty tears, but refused to let them drop. He was trying to prove a point to his stubborn grandparents, not show yet more weakness towards them.  
John stepped forwards, pulling his wife's hands from Logan's shoulders and replacing them with a tight, firm grip. Although John loved his grandson and just wished the best for him, he did not loosen his grip when the poor genius flinched, hot pain flooding his probably bruised shoulder.  
"Logan, you're going in there whether you like it or not, you just have to accept it, and allow us to help you. Do you understand me? You have no say in the matter." With that said, he gathered his strength and shoved Logan, forcing the slightly smaller boy to un-plant his heels from the ground and move forward.

Logan all but fell through the doors into the building and would've fallen if it had not been for the claws of his grandpa on his shoulders again. The room they were standing in was obviously some sort of reception. There was a big desk where a woman was behind a glass screen, a few couches here and there and also a few shelves full of leaflets and bibles. Looking around again, Logan noticed everything was white. In fact, they stood out like sore thumbs in their coloured clothes. He was unceremoniously pushed forward again, up to the desk. The woman smiled up at him and his grandparents as she looked at a file.  
"Logan Mitchell?" she asked. He was about to nod, when his grandpa stepped in.  
"It's Logan Henderson" he said firmly. Henderson was his mom's maiden name, he had already lost everything and now he was losing his identity too?  
"Ok then, we have his uniform right here" she said as she handed over an outfit consisting of white, shapeless pants and a matching shapeless t-shirt. She pointed to a bathroom where he could change into it. He had lost everything and now, he was being made to be just like everyone else. He came out a while later, his grandparents snatching his clothes off of him and handing him a bag full of socks and that had also been given to them. No surprise, it was all white.  
"Ok Logan, if you would like to follow me, we'll take you to your cell and then you can begin your treatment to become normal again." Logan looked back at his grandparents one last time before following her through a door that was locked three times. As he was being led down an endless white corridor, he wondered what Kendall would be doing now, had he told James and Carlos yet? What would his parents be doing? And then another thought made its way through. Wait...cell?

Unfortunately, what Logan had heard the emotionless woman say had been true. He was lead further down the pure corridor, taking twists and turns that Logan was sure he'd never memorize the route for. The place in which he was taken was almost like a prison cell, in fact, Logan was pretty sure it was a prison cell. Three white-wash walls stood, the square being completed by several silver steel bars running from the ceiling towards the floor, embedded deeply in the white concrete. There was no way that Logan would ever be able to break through the bars, he couldn't even pin James in a play-wrestle, let alone bust through steel! However, Logan was quite pleased to see at least one colour other than white, even if it was just a shiny grey. The woman who had directed them there unlocked the small gate, swinging it open for Logan to get inside. Inside the cell, it felt tight and claustrophobic, made to feel smaller by the bed that was placed in the corner taking up at least half the space. A thin layer of dust coated the cold floor beneath his feet, and Logan swore that his brown eyes had caught the movement of insects in the corner of the cell. For a place that was completely white and screaming for purity, they sure did have a cleanliness issue going on.

Logan jumped as the cold metal bars clanked shut again and he twisted round to see that the woman had let a man into the cell with him.  
"Logan, Rick here is going to give you some medicine ok, it'll help start your treatment" she explained. The muscley beast that stood in front of him produced a long syringe with a transparent liquid in it. Logan's eyes bugged. That sized needle couldn't be legal could it? Rick advanced on Logan, who started to back up.  
"Logan, you have to cooperate, otherwise we'll have to use force" the woman called from where she was. Logan whimpered as his legs hit the edge of the bed, informing him that he couldn't reverse any further; he was trapped. Rick cornered him and gripped Logan's arms even stronger than his grandpa had. That was sure to leave a bruise. Pinning his arms in front of him in one of his large, meaty hands, Rick brought the syringe down. It made contact with Logan's skin and Rick pushed it down as far as it would go. Logan by this point was screaming. Injections weren't meant to hurt this bad! Was it even a legal injection if the first place? Logan had no time to ponder this as the liquid in the needle was plunged into his arm, before it was yanked painfully out again. Logan's vision began to get fuzzy as everything started to spin.  
"That should do him, he'll need a dose every other day, but he'll be under our power in no time." Was that Rick speaking? He didn't know and he couldn't even process this information at the moment. He suddenly felt sick, very sick and suddenly everything came pouring out of his mouth in an acidy pool.

Logan slowly raised his head from where he'd just expelled the contents of his stomach, all the faces of people staring at him swirling into one another. His brain was disorientated and confused, he couldn't tell what was up or down, left or right, whose face was whose. Logan felt the large hands again, carefully lifting him and placing him straight on the bed, Logan only really knew this due to feeling the hard pillow being placed under his pounding head. The man, Rick somewhere in the back of his fuzzy mind told him, seemed to be speaking, but Logan heard nothing as his world faded into darkness.

The brunette boy awoke slowly, able to hear the blood pounding harshly through his head. His first instinct was to cradle his aching skull with his hand in a desperate plea to quell the pain, but as he tried this, Logan realised his wrists were restrained down tightly with leather straps.  
"Logan," A female voice pulled him from his stunned state, forcing his gaze over to the source. A young woman stood there, who could have only really been in her mid to late twenties, her face showing the slightest glance of pity. To her left stood his grandparents, the female of the couple cupping her hands to her mouth in shock while her husband gently reassured her. "Your body seems to be fighting the drug we normally give our patients, the side effects you encountered were normal, however while taking a brain scan it seems it did not change you at all mentally. Therefore, we are resorting to stronger means of helping you. Just relax this will all be over before you know it."  
She turned towards the lever by her right, placing her small hand on it, and with a last glance of pity towards the restrained teenager, she forced the object down. The chair Logan was strapped to sprung into life, volts of electricity charging through his frail body. He couldn't help but let out a heart-wrenching scream as he felt his organs begin to shut down from the harsh torture, his last thought before blacking out was how glad he was Kendall didn't have to go through this.

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Logan currently was in his cell, lying down on his bed. He had now been here 3 days. He didn't remember much of the first day, just getting there and being shown his cell. There was a massive blank spot before he arrived and after he got there and as hard as he tried, he couldn't remember it. After that, he had woken up to the sight of his grandparents in his cell, his grandma was stroking his hair out of his eyes. They had asked him how he was feeling and told him that everything was going alright so far. He couldn't even remember why he was cross with them in the first place, they were being nothing but nice to him. He had been taken for treatment 9 times in the time he had been there. It was doing him good, he knew that. They said he had to learn his lesson, which he knew was true. He couldn't be...the g word anymore. It was bad. It was against God, a sin. He would end up in hell if he continued and he did not want that. He wanted to go to heaven where his parents were, not hell. Yes, apparently, something happened to cause him to forget his parent's death when he got here at the centre. They had been killed in a car crash a few months ago and he had been living with his grandparents. Everything had been fine, but he started to dream about boys and that...was unacceptable. He totally agreed with his grandparents that he needed to get cured. He needed to become normal again.

However, one thing continued to stick in his mind, bugging him, urging him to discover more and remember where it had came from. He remembered his friends back home, James and Carlos, but their faces were fuzzy in his memory, unable to recall the simple things they had once did. But this wasn't what was bugging his strained mind so badly. Somehow, he remembered sitting around a warm fire with the two boys, James and Carlos, and another with blonde hair and glowing green eyes. They were laughing about something, holding marshmallows on sticks above the wooden fire. The boy with green eyes turned to face him, smiling and leaning over to pull him into a hug. For some reason, this boy was the only one out of the three who wasn't blurred, his face and features were crystal clear in Logan's memory, however, the name just wouldn't come to him. He couldn't help but feel he was missing out on something important, but the way the blonde boy had leaned over to hug him was wrong, that sort of behaviour only brought pain.

It was wrong. Pain meant it was wrong and he was trying to become normal again, he couldn't go against the people trying to help him. But that blonde. There was something striking about him. Logan sighed as he turned over. Lights out was an hour ago and tomorrow, he had been told, was a big day, where his treatments would truly start to work. Everything was tiring him out lately and he couldn't help the way his eyes were drooping further and further, until they closed completely with only the blonde on his mind. He awoke with a start as the bars to his cell were opened and Rick came in. He slowly clambered out of his bed and walked over to meet him. Rick picked the boy up and proceeded out of the cell. They carried him everywhere, like he would get lost or something. Logan tried to focus on last night. He was thinking about his friends. They were...Jimmy and Chris? Jack and Callum? Jo-Je-Ja...he couldn't remember their names. One was tall, the other short, he knew that and one wore a...helmet? He couldn't be sure. Then there was another person, he was blonde, but that's all he could remember on that one. Why couldn't he remember? It must have been important if he was thinking about it last night. Wasn't it? Logan huffed as he had a mental argument with himself and he didn't even see the operating room he was taken into.

Voices circled above his head, ones he recognised faintly, others completely new to the genius. The first was light and airy, seemingly carefree as she placed metal objects on a tray, the light clang from the collision echoing throughout the large light room. He felt himself placed upon some sort of hard table, his white clothes being hastily stripped from him and replaced by a surgical gown. That's when it hit Logan, he knew where he was. His heart began to pound wildly in his chest, beginning to struggle against the restraints that secured him down. Operations had always completely freaked him out, they seemed unnatural to him, messing with the body's way of doing things. Logan felt as though if his body couldn't fix it on its own, so be it, it wasn't meant to be. A lot of people thought he was crazy for these thoughts, but he despised the idea of someone prodding around inside him with sharp objects. The voice began speaking again in the same light tone.  
"Now, where do we begin, the back or the brain?"  
Ohh Logan was not like this one bit. Another voice joined the first, this one deep and masculine.  
"Back first, it'll be the hardest job due to connecting them to his spine and joining the nerves so they might actually be useful. Then the brain surgery, I cannot wait to see how this turns out."  
Connecting what to his spine? Brain surgery? What was happening? Logan's heart continued to pound, panicked and struggling as he felt a sharp prick in the inside of his elbow, a clear liquid being shot straight into his bloodstream. His eyes began to droop, he didn't like this, he didn't feel safe, what if he never woke up? What were they doing to him?  
Then, everything went dark, and the doctors began their first incision.

* * *

Once again, the thing that drew Logan back into consciousness was a horrible pounding in his head, except this time there was a difference; it was accompanied by a sharp pain in his upper back just between his shoulder blades. The familiar faces of his grandparents swam into his blurred vision, his grandmother's teary face leaning above him as her leathery hand brushed gently against his cheek.  
"How are you feeling sweetie?" She asked him, concern etched in her voice.  
He tried to speak, his voice hoarse and painful. Just how long had been asleep? "My back hurts..." he slurred, struggling to get his brain thinking straight. Suddenly, the pure whiteness of the room didn't seem so painful, it almost seemed...right.  
"Of course it would baby, but you'll be alright."  
What did his grandmother mean that of course his back would hurt? Suddenly wide awake, Logan twisted to see what was cushioning his back from the normally rock hard mattress of his bed.  
Wait... were those angel wings?!

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**Bet you didn't see that coming, huh? Yes, the people at that place are so psychotic that they made him into an angel! I've gotta say though, this wouldn't have even been in the story line if it were not for Lunachu thinking it up and writing that part. Your very dark girl, but it has made it oh so much better!**

**We hope you liked it and would be kind enough to leave a review. Once again, we're open to any feedback and reviews just make our day when we read them!**

**Thank you,**

**~swagUPwindowsDOWN & Lunachu :) x**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey! Look who's updating pretty much every day! So at the end of the last chapter, we found out the psycho people at the centre gave Logan wings! Wonder why they did that? Haha, of course we know! But, if you wanna find out, keep reading! We're already typing out chapter 4, so it's going super quickly!**

**Thank you to all the amazing reviewers that took their time to comment on this story so far, we're sooo glad you like it and it makes us so happy to know it's worthwhile!**

**Big Time Rush are not owned by us, if they were, we would never let them go!**

**Haha, enjoy! :)**

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Logan stared in disbelief. He couldn't have-it was impossible-wasn't it? He stared unblinking as if they would suddenly disappear, but they didn't. In fact, when he shifted even further round to see them, they twitched slightly. Logan reached out a trembling hand to touch the new addition to his body, but his grandma grabbed his hand before he could get there.  
"Don't touch them honey, they'll be very sore" she said softly, lowering his hand back to the bed. Logan was transfixed on the things sprouting out his back. How had this happened? Why had it happened? He faced his grandparents, the shock still clear on his face.  
"How?-W-What?-Why?-How?" he couldn't even say what he was thinking, everything was backwards.  
"You're how you're meant to be now, Logan, you've got your wings" she replied. Somehow that sentence unnerved him. And the fact that the white in the room now seemed peaceful; it was like he belonged in white.  
"My...my wings?" he asked, for no better words could seem to form in his mouth.  
"Yes. Logan, you've always been special. When you were born, everyone adored you and said you were meant to achieve great things. The reverend declared you an angel sent from heaven, eventually going on to help others." She started to explain.  
"One day when you were very little, we were in church and it was storming, no light in the sky at all. Then, when we had finished our prayers, a single beam of light streamed in and laid upon your form. It was a sign. You're destined for this Logan, you always have been. Now, the transformation is complete. You have the physicality of an angel and the mind of one too" John told the boy. Logan had never seen his grandparents so happy in all the time he had known them. He sure had the body of an angel, but the mind? What did that mean?

Logan shook his pounding head a little, trying to make sense of all the information being given to him. It seemed outrageous, definitely illegal, but somehow... he didn't mind. They were just trying to help him after all, right? The least he could do would be to accept their gracious offer.  
"Will...will I be able to fly?" He questioned, his voice sounding childish and innocent even to his own ears. His grandmother nodded lightly, smiling gently as she rubbed her hand against his cheek again.  
"You should be able to, Logan, as long as you continue to get better. Being able to fly is a privilege only good boys get, so no more messing around with that Kendall, alright?"  
Confusion flashed across Logan's features. Kendall? Who was that? Had he gotten Logan in trouble, was he the one to cause Logan all this pain? If that was so, Logan didn't like this Kendall, pain meant he was being bad; he had to be good to fly and use his new wings for good. His mind bugged him to ask his grandmother who this boy she was mentioning was, but the rational side of his brain decided against it, what he didn't know couldn't hurt him.  
"Of course I'll be good grandma, Angels have to be good right? I'm an angel now; I have to follow the lord's every word."  
"That's right, Logan, and you know what the Lord says about loving people of the same gender, right?"  
Logan felt disgusted for a second. Was that what his grandparents were talking about? He used to love another man?  
"It's wrong, Grandpa, right?"  
"Yes, Logan, it's wrong, very wrong, and we're here to help you get fixed."

* * *

1 more day. 1 more day and he would be able to go back home. He would be able to do all of the things he had missed whilst being in here and more. He would be able...to fly. Logan's heart fluttered with excitement at the thought of soaring through the skies, looking down at the tiny people and buildings below. He knew that he would only be able to fly if he got better. So, he did. Logan let them give him whatever treatments they wanted, read the bible over and over and prayed to the Lord himself that he would soon be normal again. He was making great progress, or so he had been told. He no longer thought in that way. How could he have in the first place? Liking the same gender...ugh, it was vile and disgusting. Men were made for women and vice versa. That Kendall boy must have corrupted him big time if he even considered it before he came here. Luckily, with the help of the drug, he was quickly forgetting about that Kendall. Well, he only knew the name. He was getting closer and closer to normal as every day went by. He of course knew that once he got out of there, he would have to continue to prove to his grandparents and God himself that he was cured, but he could do it. Logan smiled to himself as he thought about home. He would soon be back. Things could never go back to normal though. People couldn't see his wings. The only people that knew about the transformation were his grandparents. Oh, and they reverend. He found out they told him the other day, but he didn't mind. He was the one to point out that he was a miracle child in the first place. He would help people, like an angel did, but never reveal that he was an angel himself. He would also be home schooled. A person from the centre would come to their house and teach him and also show him how to use his wings and abilities properly, whilst monitoring that they were alright. He really couldn't wait to return home and as another dose of the drug was pressed into his skin, he smiled heartily. It was all worth it.

* * *

Kendall sat at the window of his bedroom, his sad green eyes staring out into the rain soaked world ahead of him. It had only been around a week since Logan was torn from him, and his heart already ached for his boyfriend back. His mother had tried to reassure him that Logan would be home soon, while Carlos and James insisted at Logan was too strong and stubborn to submit to anything the devilish company put him through to try and change his mind. Logan loved Kendall, Kendall loved Logan, it's how it always had been, and some stupid company wouldn't change that, Kendall knew that God would accept Logan for who he is, no matter whom he loved. Wasn't God meant to just want his children to be happy? Well he wasn't happy, he longed for Logan to be back in his arms, safe and sound. Mr and Mrs Mitchell were hurting as well, he had visited them multiple times in the past week and there wasn't a dry eye in the entire household every time. They'd hug him and thank him for visiting when he technically had no reason to anymore, they knew they weren't getting their son back. Everyone was hurting over Logan's technical kidnapping, but there was nothing Kendall could do about it but pray he came back safe and unchanged.

He looked up as his bedroom door opened and in came James and Carlos. They sat down on the bed next to him. No one said anything for several minutes, not quite sure what would be comforting in this situation. Kendall's bedroom really did tell the story of his and Logan's relationship. Over one wall, he had stuck every single picture taken with any of his friends, a mass of smiling, goofy and funny faces. There was no doubt that Logan was the most common face seen, other than Kendall himself. On his shelves were souvenirs, objects and prized possessions, each one having been gotten when Logan was present. And most of all, on his bedside table, where he kept the most two important photos. The first, when the four boys had met on that frozen pond when they were just 6 years old. Kendall himself had his arm around Logan and James, smiling with a toothy grin. James was clutching his very first lucky comb in one hand, the other arm slung around Carlos, who had his helmet on backwards after a great first game of hockey together. And then there was Logan. The smallest, the youngest. He was giving a small smile, cheeks flushed, but Kendall reckoned it was more from blushing than the icy wind. He had been very timid back then, only speaking his full sentence to the boys a full 3 weeks after meeting them. The other picture had been taken by Logan's parents. Kendall and Logan were both on the couch, snuggled up next to one another. Logan was looking up adoringly at his boyfriend, whilst Kendall himself had his lips planted upon the younger boy's cheek. It may have been simple, but Kendall thought it was one of the best pictures ever taken.  
"I did some research last night." It was James who spoke, startling the deafening silence surrounding them. "I looked up all the places that he could have been sent to. I thought we could at least see where he was." he explained. The other two nodded, signalling him to go on. "There actually aren't many around here. There's one that's about half an hour away, but it's closed at the moment for renovation work. There's another, on the outskirts, called Holy Christ Reform Centre, that's our best bet." Kendall was already typing away on his laptop, his friends joining him as he clicked on the correct website  
"Helping the damaged to get healed" Carlos read. "Damaged? Do they mean hurt?" he asked confused. Kendall shook his head.  
"It's Christian Carlos; it means homosexuals, gay people. Logan" he whispered the last part. "Ok, it looks like the average patient is kept there for about 7-10 days. Wow, that's quick" he commented.  
"They use the most advanced methods in curing the ill minded and change them into normal people who abide by the word of the Lord and follow his correct path. What on earth does that mean?" James asked dumbfounded.  
"It means when they return, they're no longer gay anymore. What if Logan comes out straight? What if he doesn't love me anymore?" Kendall sounded so broken; Carlos swore he felt his heart shatter even more.  
"Logan will come back, and he'll come back as Logan, no one else. If he does come back...changed, well, we can help him become who he once was. Everything will work out, you'll see." Even though he said it, he didn't sound very certain. Then, a sudden change in James' usually calm voice caused them to focus back on the website. "Uh guys? It says that...if a patient is not willing to cooperate, they'll have to use force. In any way possible." Kendall and Carlos stared at the words James had just read. One thought flew through Kendall's mind. Oh Logie, poor, poor Logie.

* * *

Logan smiled at Rick as he helped him pull the faint grey shirt over his head, his still sore wings carefully strapped against his back as tight as they would go to avoid detection. Today was the day he would finally be going home to live with his grandparents, his new teacher from the centre would be visiting tomorrow in order to teach him how to look after his wings and even begin flapping them properly, as well as the usual Math and English he needed to learn. His grandmother smiled from the door where she and his grandfather waited, the car was just outside, ready to take him away from this place.  
Logan couldn't help but feel as though a part of him was missing as he was lead out of the facility, down the winding white corridors he had grown to love towards the exit, something important from his mind was gone, something that made him Logan.  
"Goodbye, Logan Henderson, may the Lord watch over you and help you continue to improve." The receptionist greeted, smiling gently at him. He frowned a little at the name, Henderson didn't sound right, and didn't his surname begin with an M? Mitch...ell? Something like that anyway, that was his parent's surname, shouldn't he have that one?  
No, maybe Logan was over-thinking this, his parents had died right? He must have just taken his grandmother's name when he went to live with her, that's all, it couldn't be anything else.  
Logan got into the back seat of his grandparents' car, leaning his slightly sore head against the window as they got into the front seats, starting the engine off. The glass was cool and soothing against his bed, the rumble from the car vibrating the glass slightly making his teeth chatter in his mouth. He chuckled slightly at the feeling, unable to keep the smile from his face. Lately, since he'd woken up with wings and his grandfather had told him his mind had been altered to be like an angel's, the simplest things amused the teenage boy, like watching a spider crawl across the floor of his cell, the way its legs scuttled could have Logan laughing for at least 10 minutes.  
It was beginning to rain now, Logan's trained brown eyes carefully following a drop of the water as it trailed down the glass pane, meeting other droplets until it was wiped off completely by the gusting wind. The car entered their hometown after a while, weaving through the streets to avoid the now torrential rainfall, Logan giggled as he watched the people who had been trapped by the water running around, hiding under trees and news papers to keep dry. He heard his grandfather mumble something urgently to his wife, who suddenly turned the car off into a smaller road that wasn't in their usual route, but before the car did so, Logan spotted a face that seemed familiar to him, one with long, straightened brown hair, and wide, shocked chestnut eyes as they joined with Logan's own.

"Logan" his grandpa's voice brought his attention away from the boy and over to him. "You are not to associate with him or his friends ok? They're nothing but trouble, a bad influence" he instructed firmly. Logan turned back around to see the boy still staring at the vehicle they were in, before turning down the street and bolting in the other direction. Logan furrowed his eyebrows as he tried to think why the boy would've been looking at them. But as hard as he tried, he couldn't place the face in his mind.  
"Why did he look like he knew me?" Logan asked as they pulled into their driveway. His grandma sighed and both of them turned to look at him.  
"Logan, they're the reason why you were in the centre. They're the ones who corrupted you and tried to make you go against God." she informed him. Logan felt sudden anger towards that boy and whoever else tried to corrupt him. Why would they do that? He could go to hell if he continued on the path he had been taking and it was all because of them.  
"Logan, you have to promise us you won't go anywhere without our say so and that you most definitely will not have any contact with them. Promise us?" his grandpa said strongly. Logan looked back out of the window and back to his grandparents. He would rather die than go around with people that like the same gender as themselves.  
"I promise" he replied.  
They all got clambered out of the car and Logan was lead into the house. He immediately smiled when he realised how much of it he recognised and how it felt like home. Even if it seemed odd at first. He walked through into the living room and over to the window, where a little chain of diamonds hung. He gently pushed them so that they spun around, leaving rainbows on the carpet. He laughed at the almost magical effect and got down on his hands and knees, tracing the rainbow patterns with his finger. John and his wife smiled at how easily their grandson could now be amused. The way in which his mind was altered made him more care free, light hearted and considerate. They knew he would make a good angel. It was after all, what he was destined for ever since he was born. They could now feel happy that they had changed his life for the better, ridding him of the horrible disease that the Kendall boy had plagued him with and giving him the gift of wings. They felt they had definitely brought him away from the devils he used to call parents and friends, the ones which, if he had stayed with them, would have condemned their grandson to hell.

* * *

James pounded through the rain, not caring as the heavy rain soaked into his carefully styled hair, effectively messing it up and just asking for it to frizz out in an afro, but James didn't care. He'd just seen Logan in that car with his grandparents, Logan was back and... he didn't seem to recognise James. The Logan he knew would have yelled at his grandparents to stop the car and would have jumped out, running to meet James in the rain and grabbing him in a tight hug since they hadn't seen each other in a week, for them that was a long time. But no, Logan just stared at him in blank confusion as his grandparents whisked him away, quick and far away from his best friend. What had they done to Logan in that place? Was it really enough to wipe over 10 years of memories clean away? James didn't know, but he had to find out. The puddles splashed around his ankles, soaking the bottom of his jeans as he rushed down the street towards Kendall's house while pulling his cell out of his pocket, speed dialling the familiar key to contact Carlos. Thankfully, he picked up straight away.  
"Carlitos get down to Kendall's place now, there's no time to explain, it's about Logan." Without giving Carlos a chance to question him, James hung up and shoved the phone in his pocket, heading into the Knight household as he always had, bursting through the door without bothering to knock.  
Jennifer Knight looked to him in shock, a little stunned from him bursting in, but smiled lightly at him and pointed upstairs to where Kendall was moping in his room, she knew all about the current situation with Logan, and was always there to comfort the Mitchells and the boys whenever they needed her around. James thanked her and charged up the stairs, rainwater dripping from his bangs into his frantic eyes as he pushed the door open, taking in Kendall lying moodily on his back staring at the ceiling. When James appeared in his room, he looked over and four words made his whole posture and expression lighten up.  
"Kendall, Logan is back."

* * *

The boys all assembled in Kendall's bedroom, deciding what to do next. James was telling the others about what had happened in the street, only about half an hour ago.  
"And they just drove off. He didn't recognise me at all. It was like he was looking at a wall or something, not one of his best friends since he was 6" James recalled the last part of the very short moment he saw Logan again. Kendall was pacing up and down, up and down. Carlos was bouncing his leg, either from excitement or nervousness, he wasn't quite sure.  
"What did they do to him?! What happened when he was away? He should have recognised you James, but he didn't. There's only one thing to do!" he said firmly as he stopped pacing. The other two looked at him quizzically, waiting for him to tell them his plan.  
"We need to go over and find out what's going on." With that said, all three boys began a fast pace walk towards the residence of Logan's grandparents and now Logan. When they neared the big, fancy pale blue and white house however, their footsteps began to slow. They didn't really have any idea what they were going to say to Logan's grandparents. Would they even open the door to them? Kendall decided to just take initiative and walk up the cobble stone drive and knock on the big wooden door. Footsteps could be heard from inside, a pair coming down the three flights of staircases and another walking over to the door. It was swung open briskly. Kendall, James and Carlos were now face to face with none other, than Logan's grandma.  
"What are you doing here?" she hissed at them. Logan's grandpa also joined her at the door.  
"You boys aren't allowed to be here, you're forbidden. You're trespassing!" he told them in a steely voice.  
"We want to know what's happened to Logan." Carlos boldly replied to them.  
"Logan is fine, he's cured and on the right path, no thanks to you!" John all but shouted. Suddenly, another pair of footsteps came down the stairs. Logan popped round the corner. The boys' faces lit up at the sight of their best friend, seemingly unharmed. But their smiles fell when they realised Logan didn't recognise them.  
"What's going on? Who are they?" he asked his grandparents who were about to reply, when he caught sight of James.  
"It's you! You're the ones that corrupted me and lead me into a life of sin! What are you doing here?!" he cried, pointing at them.  
"Logie, it's me, Kendall. And James and Carlos. We're your best friends; I'm your boy-"  
"No!" Logan shouted. "You are not my best friends. You're not even my friends! And I especially am not your male partner, Kendall, if that's even your real name! Liking the same gender is disgusting, it's vile. Anyone who likes the same gender is condemned to hell! I am not like you. I hate you!" With that he stormed off, leaving three crying boys on the doorstep.  
"You should leave now" John said, slamming the door shut. Whatever that was, it was definitely not their Logie.

* * *

**Oooh! Drama! What did you think? Did you like it? Please, please, please leave a review to let us know if you like it or not so we can continue this knowing people appreciate it!**

**Stay tuned for chapter 4!**

**~swagUPwindowsDOWN & Lunachu :) x**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey! Another new chapter here from me and Lunachu! This is our longest chapter yet, we just got so carried away with it! We first want to thank all the amazingly sweet people that reviewed our story or favourited it or even followed! It means so much to know that you're liking it.**

**So thanks to: EmilyHenderson99, winterschild11 (for 2 reviews!), LunaFairyPrincess1989, ALittleMoreCargan (for 3 reviews!) and the two Guests who reviewed as well. It really made our day reading those reviews.**

**And to every person that favourited and followed, there's too many to list, but we thank you all! :)**

**Also, one of the Guests pointed something out and that's great because we love criticism! It makes our story even better! They said that Logan's grandparents wouldn't be allowed to become his guardians without the parents consent. Yes this is very true and is the LEGAL way of doing it, but who says the way his grandparents became his guardians was legal? (*hint hint*). Also, they said that Logan's name wouldn't remain as Mitchell because they were Logan's mothers parents. We don't mean to sound harsh, but we didn't keep his last name as Mitchell and we didn't say they're last name was Mitchell. In fact, it's Henderson as said from chapter 2 onwards. But, we really don't want to sound like we're getting at you at all! In fact guys, if you have any comments like this, please feel free to write them in your reviews so we can change any mistakes!**

**Once again, we don't own Big Time Rush, it would be awesome if we did, but that might involve kidnapping :P**

**We hope you enjoy this chapter! :)**

* * *

Kendall sighed as he trudged through the mall, sidestepping people coming in the other direction absentmindedly, simply just out of habit. His mind wasn't focused on the task at hand, which just happened to be getting Carlos a surprise birthday gift from himself and James; it was fully focused on the events that had transpired two days ago. Logan had yelled at him, called him vile and disgusting, he'd even stated he hated Kendall and his friends. That was not his Logan, it couldn't be the boy he had fallen in love with. They'd taken his sweet, short lover and replaced him with a monster. He hadn't even seemed bothered that he hadn't seen his parents yet, who knew what lies that despicable place had implanted in his mind with their 'treatments'. Secretly, Kendall hoped that Logan had endured the pain for a few days at least, given the workers hell for trying to change him, and been the stubborn little brunette Kendall had grown up loving. The blonde sighed, running his hand through his golden hair, knowing he needed to put his mind on a different subject; he couldn't wallow in self pity the whole time. However, it seemed fate had a different plan for Kendall, since as he had been immersed in thought, he hadn't been watching where he was walking, and it didn't take long before...

"Ah!"

"Ouch!"  
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" Kendall slowly looked up to see the person he was apologising to, since it had technically been his fault. His heart pounded harshly in his chest when he saw the familiar head of brown spiked hair, with matching chocolate eyes staring at him. Those eyes that used to be filled with love for him, but were now glimmering with shock and hate.  
"Do not use the Lord's name in vain, I won't allow it." Logan stated as he pulled himself up off the floor, retrieving his fallen bags while ignoring Kendall's outstretched hand made to help him. Kendall scanned around them, looking for the old couple who usually would not leave Logan's side, especially right now, but saw no one.  
"What are you doing here, Logan?" He asked curiously, struggling to keep the love and hurt out of his tone, he had to remember this Logan wasn't his. Logan looked confused for a second, as if debating it himself.  
"I... don't know, I just felt as though an important occasion was coming up, so I had to get the person a present. I'm not sure who or why, though. What's it to you? Leave me alone, please, I am not allowed to associate with you." With that said, Logan shoved Kendall out of his way and continued walking. Kendall knew that somewhere in the back of his mind, Logan had remembered Carlos's birthday, maybe there was some hope.

* * *

Logan arrived home, still unsettled about what this strange feeling was. He put his bags down in the hall and was greeted by his grandma.  
"Logan, your teacher is here, she says she needs to examine your wings before you can get started, ok?" Logan smiled and followed her into the living room, where a woman who looked to be in her mid forties was getting out some medical equipment.  
"Ah, you must be Logan. My name is Corrine Marshall, but you can address me by Ms. Marshall. Would you mind taking your top off? I just need to make sure you wings are still healing properly" she asked. Logan was slightly self conscious about taking off his t-shirt in front of a woman he had just met, but he knew that in order to check his wings were ok, she needed to look at them. Pulling the top over his head and then undoing the straps that kept his wings in place, they sprung out and glowed in the afternoon sun. Corrine walked round the back of him and started inspecting him. After a long wait, she was finished.  
"Well, they're healing nicely, but I've decided not to start your schooling until next week, you need to rest otherwise you won't heal all the way. I have some pills to help you heal, take two, three times a day. Logan go and get some sleep whilst I talk to your grandparents" he smiled at her, grabbed his shirt and headed upstairs, and remembering to take up with him two of the pills beforehand.  
Once he was safely out of hearing distance, John spoke up.  
"So those pills, they'll make sure he forgets everything about his friends and family, right? Everything?"  
"Yes, they are specially made so he'll forget all his relatives and friends and old life apart from you two, I would say that after only 2 days, he will have no recollection of any of those devils" Corrine replied.  
"Perfect."

* * *

Once Logan had gotten to his room, the nagging feeling that he'd forgotten something important continued to eat away at him. Why was the upcoming date feeling so important to him? It couldn't have been too major like his own birthday since he would remember that, right? Maybe the anniversary of his parent's death? No, his grandmother would have been upset if that was coming up, after all it was her daughter. So what could it be? Curiosity got the better of Logan, reaching over to the small bag that his grandfather had brought with his belongings in. Hopefully, the item he was wishing for was in it, and luckily for Logan, the small cheap Nokia was buried at the bottom of the bag. Pulling the cell out, he quickly turned it on as he lay back on the bed, wincing gently as his aching wings protested to the force of being lain on. He scrolled through, heart jumping slightly when he saw the contact names in his phone. "Kendall" "James" "Carlos" "Mom" "Dad". Why were these numbers still in his phone? They were bad people, and his parents were dead, shouldn't he have deleted their numbers long ago? They'd poisoned him, tried to condemn him to Hell! But somehow, Logan couldn't bring himself to get rid of the 5 names staring back at him. He wanted to talk to them, surely, one phone call couldn't hurt? No, they'd plagued him, he couldn't, and it was too risky. What if he forgave them? He didn't want to, but it was always a possibility. Then he'd have to go back and face more pain to fix him again, he didn't want any more pain, so he'd have to stay away. But, looking back down at the names, Carlos stuck out to him, seeming to connect with the important event that had been bugging him so much. So the event was something to do with Carlos? Maybe it was his birthday in a few days, which had to be it! Logan looked back at the bag which he'd brought back up with him from the hall containing a new hockey helmet. He didn't know why that had stuck out to him, but it had. Why was this Carlos guy so important to him if he'd helped ruin his life?

Logan sighed, maybe he needed some more sleep like Ms. Marshall had said. There was something odd about that woman, something that didn't seem genuine. He looked to his bedside table where he had put the two pills. He reached for them and with one big gulp of water, swallowed them. What started happening next scared Logan. He became very dizzy, everything spinning around him. His vision became dimmer and everything seemed to be in a haze. What was he just thinking about? He tried to pinpoint his thoughts, eyes going wide in fright when he couldn't find what he had been thinking about before. Why had he suddenly forgotten? He looked to the bag again, a hockey helmet? Why did he buy that again? For someone's birthday? But, he couldn't remember whose. Hadn't he just been thinking about this mere seconds ago? How could he forget something so quickly? It was slightly worrying to him and he decided he needed to tell his grandparents. It could be a sign his wings weren't healing properly. As he got up however, the dizziness more than tripled along with a harsh wave of nausea and vertigo. He tried to take a step forward, but his knees buckled and he collapsed to the floor. His voiced seemed to be failing him also. This really wasn't fun. Then he noticed how incredibly tired he was, but couldn't fall asleep due to his head pounding against his skull. Suddenly, he felt himself being lifted and placed back on his bed, the person making sure his wings weren't scrunched up. They started humming softly whilst stroking his hair, something that was very calming to poor Logan. In fact, he felt his eyes drooping, more and more as the tune softly went on. He felt his wings curling themselves around him in a sort of blanket, making him feel even more relaxed and warm. The hand in his hair kept on stroking and the humming got softer and softer. Logan's eyes finally fluttered closed and the last thing he thought he heard before he drifted off was his grandmother's voice:  
"You'll forget about them soon Logie, those pills will help. Soon, you'll be none the wiser to who they are."

* * *

The wind blew gently through Logan's unstyled hair as he walked through the park, the grass gently tickling his bare feet as he made his way across the large field. It was an overcast day, large grey clouds circling through the air above his head, not another human being in sight for miles around. It was the perfect time to test out the new limbs that were merged with his back. Ms. Marshall didn't want him to fly for another week or so, but Logan couldn't wait that long although his grandparents agreed with the woman. He wanted to fly and start doing good now, not wait for another week, the pills were working, and so what was stopping him? He sighed lightly, taking in the calming damp air; his mind was clear and free of worries as he pulled off the thin blue shirt he had been wearing. Checking once more that there was no one around, Logan undid the strapping that held the white beasts close to his back and let the large feathered structures spring free, bursting out from his back and spreading wide around his body. The white feathers shone gently in the little light the sun was allowing the give him due to the overcast skies, but he didn't care, they reflected the light beautifully in streams of silver and light gold. He let a sigh escape his chapped lips once more, ruffling his wings slightly as the breezes cooled and eased them from the cramped position they had been before, it felt wonderful. He tensed the muscles in his back, pulling the wings down for a few experimental beats, a grin breaking out on his innocent face as they lifted him a few inches from the ground. Teenage hyperactivity getting the best of Logan, he placed his feet back on the floor before jumping up and wooping lightly, fist pumping the air in celebration. He'd done it! He could fly if he'd really wanted to! But unfortunately, Logan had ran away from his grandparents in order to try this out, if he'd stayed out any longer, it was a possibility they'd find out he was gone, and Logan didn't want to cause any trouble. He settled back down, adjusting the large wings so they were flat against his back, folded against his spine and reattached the strap that kept them still, before pulling his shirt back on and beginning to run back home. But, unbeknown to him, two tall boys sat amongst the trees right by where Logan had just been, and had seen everything. James turned to Kendall, pain and confusion etched into his brown eyes. Kendall, who's eyes were beginning to gleam with tears, directed his gaze away from his best friend, settling them on Logan's retreating figure.  
"Logie, what have they done to you?"

* * *

"And then he took his shirt off and he had wings!" James exclaimed to Carlos, the only one who didn't know about the recent events.  
"Wings? How can he have wings? He's human" Carlos asked, he did believe them, he was just confused as to why Logan would suddenly have wings when he hadn't had them before. Before he went to the centre. "You think they gave him wings?" he inquired. James and Kendall nodded.  
"He even left the ground for a bit! It looked like they hurt a bit though, so it has to have been recent." James told him.  
"I think they gave him the wings, why? I don't know, but it's another thing they've done to him to make him different" Kendall put out. The boys all lapsed into a thoughtful silence.  
"We'll go back" Kendall says out of the blue. James and Carlos look on, puzzled. "We'll go back to the field. Logan's bound to go there, he got off the ground today but he didn't fly. You could see it in his eyes how much he wanted to." he explained.  
"And if he wants to fly, he'll go back...and then we'll confront him" James added, seeing where this was going.  
"And we'll find out why Logie has wings! Well...that's if he talks to us..." Carlos said glumly. The little Latino never liked it when he or his friends got into fights, so he was taking the whole situation quite hard. Their happy expressions all withered slightly as he said this.  
"Wait! Carlos, you know you're birthday a few days ago?" Carlos nodded. "Well, when I was buying your present, I bumped into Logan. More like collided. He had a few bags and said that he felt like he had to buy a present for someone but he didn't know why or who. That person was you Carlos! He remembered your birthday, but he didn't know it. There's something that's making him forget more and more each day, I'm positive of it. But, if he still has feelings like that, then we'll be able to un-brainwash him! He'll be our Logie again." So they agreed, tomorrow they would go back to the field and try and see Logan.  
"Wait" said James. "You think he's been brainwashed?" he asked.  
"I don't think" replied Kendall. "I know."

* * *

Logan climbed through his bedroom window easily, and thankfully it didn't look as though his grandparents had noticed his absence yet. He knew he was being bad by sneaking out, but the Lord would forgive him for just wanting to get a hang of his new gift early, right? After all, he was one of his angels now; he needed to learn as soon as possible! As always, the two small white pills were waiting on his bedside table with a glass of water, waiting for him to take them. He began to approach, knowing it was time for his last dose of the night, but were the pills really doing what they were meant to? His wings were slowly beginning to get less sore yes, but the way they made his head feel every time he took them, the way more often than not he'd black out only seconds after the pills slid down his gullet, was that meant to happen? Also, every time he'd awaken in the morning, it felt as though more and more of himself was slipping away, further and further out of reach, he was beginning to forget basic things, his Grandmother had even had to remind him of his own age. Was it a side effect of the pills? Was he meant to lose all the things that made him Logan Henderson? That name still didn't sound right to him; he should have kept his parents' name even after their death, right? He sighed, picking up the two pills and throwing them in his mouth, gulping them down with a large amount of water. A grin spread upon his face as the usual dizziness and nausea didn't set in, maybe it was a side effect and he was getting over it? He hoped so, he hated the way he got so sick 3 times a day. But then, the pain set in. It was unbearable as Logan let out a heart wrenching scream of agony, falling to his knees and gripping hold of his hair with white knuckles. Pain burned through every pore of his body, the feeling of thousands of syringes stabbing into the same spot all over, volts of electricity shattering through his prone form. Logan could feel blood trickle out of his nose as he continued to scream in agony, his pure wings bursting free from their strapping and flapping harshly against Logan's will, pulling his body from the floor towards the ceiling. It didn't take long for his Grandparents to burst into the room, alerted by Logan's horrible screams that something was dearly wrong. Suddenly, the screams stopped, his wings stopping their steady beat and allowing Logan's unconscious form to drop like a stone. John acted quickly, rushing forward to grab the limp boy before he hurt himself on the wooden floor, and carefully placed him on the bed.  
"We need to call Ms. Marshall, make sure that was normal. I never want my grandson in that much pain again." He told the old woman beside him, who nodded in agreement and took off downstairs.

* * *

Logan groaned as he came to. Why did his head feel like it had been bashed into a wall? He slowly cracked open his eyes, shielding them when the lights brought even pain to his aching head.  
"Hey sweetie, how are you feeling?" His grandmother asked as she stroked back some strands of hair from his eyes lovingly. "You scared us a bit honey, we had to get Ms. Marshall to come down to check on you" she told him, looking out the door at something.  
"What's wrong then? Why did it hurt so much?" He asked, alarmed when his voice came out raspy and soft.  
"Logan, your body rejected the pills today, we don't know why, but they did."  
"Rejected? But, it was fine for all the other times" he replied confused.  
"Ms. Marshall said that sometimes it can happen. She's given you a stronger dosage, which will probably be strong enough so your body won't fight it. You'll have to take it an extra two times a day but-"  
'No" Logan interrupted firmly.  
"What?" His grandma was clearly shocked that he was speaking to her like that.  
"No! I won't take those pills anymore! They cause pain and pain means I've been bad. I haven't been bad so it's wrong! I'm not taking them!" He was sitting up now, furious for some reason.  
"Honey, you need to take them they-"  
"Why are you so stuck on me taking these pills? They don't do anything! You know what, I'm out of here!." With that Logan ran out as fast as he could. He needed to get out of there. He ran and ran and ran until he knew where he was going. He was going to fly.

* * *

It didn't take long for Logan to arrive at the large field in which he'd felt so free the day before, the breeze was colder, more soothing to his burning temper as he breathed quickly. That pain, he'd never felt anything like it before. He could probably be gutted a thousand times over and only feel a small amount of what he had blacked out to the night before. How could a few stupid pills in his system do that? What chemicals were really in those little white capsules, Logan wondered. He took a deep sigh, allowing the cool air to fill his painful lungs, still raw from the screams they had expelled. His grandparents had wanted him to continue taking those pills, why? Had they enjoyed seeing their grandson in so much pain? Logan didn't know, but right now he knew something fishy must be going on, it had to be. However, now he didn't care for the rules, he hadn't broken them and God had still allowed him to feel intense pain. He once again pulled off his shirt, which happened to be his Pyjamas since he'd not had time to get changed before storming out of his home. His wings weren't even strapped to his back since sleeping with them so cramped against his back wouldn't have helped them heal. He slowly stretched out the beautiful white feathers, smiling as he once again saw them shimmer and gleam in the sunlight.  
"Logan..?" The weak and pleading tone in which his name had been spoken caused Logan to whip around, instinctively drawing his wings close around him for protection. In front of him stood a tanned Latino boy with large, chocolate brown eyes, staring at him pleadingly. Alarm bells went off in Logan's head, however, he couldn't put his finger on why. He recognised this boy, but only very faintly, he couldn't put a name to the face. Logan cursed himself under his breath, begging God to forgive his stupidity. He should have checked that no-one was around before getting his wings free.  
"Logan, that's you right? Do you remember us?" Logan quickly turned again, this time focusing on a tall, brunette boy who stared back at him. This one's skin was flawless; his hair straightened and prepared even though the damp air would probably ruin it. However, his white knuckles gripping onto the slightly long sleeves of his sweater showed Logan that he wasn't as confidant as he'd like to appear.  
"Please, Logan, please remember us!" The last voice struck a chord within Logan. He turned, his eyes slowly meeting the emerald gaze of the blonde in front of him. The sadness in his voice caused Logan to feel so many emotions. Guilt, worry, concern and...was that Love?

Love? Love to another person of the same gender? That's preposterous, he couldn't love him like that. Besides, he barely knew them. He didn't know them. He had to find out.  
"W-who are you?" their faces two on two expressions, one of relief that he was actually talking to them, but the other made their countenance drop in sadness. He really didn't remember them.  
"We're your-" James stopped himself. He didn't think they were best friends anymore, well, at least not his best friends. "I'm James, that's Carlos and that's Kendall." Kendall. That name made his heart flutter in more ways than one, but he couldn't describe how. It seemed a foreign concept to him. It confused him.  
"We used to be best friends-" he took a look at Logan's face "and before you start to protest, it's true we were."  
"But...you were the people that corrupted me! You-you caused me to-to go against God!" Logan sounded so conflicted, where they actually getting through to him? Kendall thought he'd try a different angle.  
"What did they do to you in there Logan? You have...wings" he said for lack of words to describe this phenomenon. He was truly disgusted by how they had changed Logan, not just mentally, but physically as well.  
"They gave me my wings, it was my destiny" Logan replied. And he liked them as well? His Logie really had been messed with.  
"Logan...who's destiny is to...to get wings? How did you even get them in the first place?" He didn't want to push it, Logan was talking to them properly for the first time in days. Logan debated whether he should tell them, but he figured he needed to. It was another feeling that seemed almost right. What put him so at ease with telling them everything?  
"It was my destiny. I'm an angel, always have been, now I can be one like I was meant to be all along." They certainly weren't expecting that to come out of his mouth.

Kendall began to shake his head slowly, his golden bangs moving slightly with the motion, his eyes were filling with glistening tears over Logan's words. Had they really changed him so much?  
"No, Logan, you're human, like us." He gently told him, hoping not to push Logan away and make him close up once more. "You're not destined to be an angel." Logan frowned lightly, looking confused as he debated what he was just told. Could it be true? Were the people who gave him wings lying to him, or were those complete strangers who had ruined his life and almost wrote his contract to the devil trying to change his mind? Logan pulled away from Kendall's grasp, glaring lightly, but Carlos soon had his hands tight around Logan's forearms, stopping him from escaping.  
"Please, Logan, you have to listen to us! They've been brain washing you!" Carlos's eyes filled with tears. "I want my best friend back!" Logan stared at Carlos in silence for a long time before nodding a little.  
"Okay, I'll listen to what you have to say."

Kendall, James and Carlos all open their mouths, about to begin the biggest explanation of their lives when they're cut off by two car doors slamming. They all looked over to see Logan's grandparents furiously marching over to them, the anger on their faces was so intimidating that Carlos clutched onto James' arm for protection.  
"LOGAN HENDERSON! What on earth do you think you're doing?! Storming out of the house, coming here and talking to them?! And most importantly...you showed them YOUR WINGS?!" John yelled seething, the veins in his neck popping out.  
"Put your shirt on right now young man! You're coming home with us right now and reading the whole bible 10 times! Come on!" his grandmother shouted. Logan timidly put his shirt back on, his eyes not leaving his grandmas red face. "Good! Now come home with us and don't say another word to them! In fact, don't even look at them! You're an angel now Logan, you have to realise that you can't go around with people like them! They're condemned to hell. Angels aren't meant to associate with them." She gave a tug on Logan's arm and he moved over to her, not out of choice though. He was about to follow, Logan knew what she was saying was true. He was an angel and angels were meant for good, people who were condemned to hell were bad. Of course they were. But then he remembered what the three boys had said. Had he really been best friends with them? Was he really meant to be an angel? Logan rethought that last part. Yes, he was positive he was, which made them wrong, right? They were wrong, weren't they? Whilst Logan was thinking all of this, he didn't realise that his grandpa had also grabbed his other arm and they were leading him back to their car. Kendall, James and Carlos were screaming at him.  
"Please! Logan! You're not an angel! Don't believe them! Logan! Logie!" the last part was so pleading that he tried to turn around, but his grandparents had such a tight grip on him and he was already in front of the car. They pushed him in the backseat and strapped him in like he couldn't do it himself. They sped away and Logan could only look back at the three forlorn boys before they were out of view. He turned around hastily as he felt a prick in his lower arm to see a syringe halfway emptied in his arm. He looked up at his grandma who smiled softly. "I'm sorry honey, but this is what's best for you" she took the syringe out of his arm and watched as her grandson suddenly became very relaxed and sleepy. Logan's eyes were drooping, further and further. Why had she just injected him? What with? The last voice he heard was his grandpa's as he fell into unconsciousness. "That'll put him to sleep for about 5 hours. By that time we'll be at the new house. Once we're moved and all settled in, we can start the treatments again. He'll forget them then and we'll live out wonderful lives in our home town of Texas. He'll love it."

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**Ooh, so what's going to happen to poor Logie? Are they moving him to Texas? We swear those grandparents are getting even more evil every chapter! What do you think? Again, reviews are a really nice thing to see, especially after we've posted our longest chapter yet. It would really be nice if you could just take 5 seconds to review, we promise we do read every one of them!**

**We hope you enjoyed it! Stay tuned for chapter 5!**

**Thanks!**

**~swagUPwindowsDOWN & Lunachu :) x**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey! Look it's chapter 5! Again thank you for all the reviews and favourites and follows, it measn so much knowing that you think our story is good enough to be on your story alerts or favourites or whatever it is that some of you decided to put our story in. Can we just say THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH!**

**Important Notice: Ok, just to let you know, on Tuesday (14th) I'm (swagUPwindowsDOWN) going on holiday for two weeks. This means that this chapter will be the last uploaded until I get back because me and Lunachu won't be able to write it together when I'm abroad. Luckily however, when I get back, we'll get right back to work and hopefully have chapter 6 up soon after that. I'm sorry that two weeks is a long time to wait for an update, but I hope you'll hold on and wait until I'm back for the next chapter to be updated. Once again I'm really sorry, but I hope you'll still read chapter 6 in a little over two weeks when it's up. Thank you!**

**And can we also say thank you to ALL of our loyal readers, without you, we wouldn't have the motivation to continue this story :)**

**We don't own BTR, but if we did we'd party all night and have the time of our lives! :D**

**Enjoy!**

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The first thing Logan noticed when he swam into consciousness was that he didn't recognise the ceiling above his eyes. It was a light grey in colour, a small bare light bulb hanging from the usual cord. His own room at his grandparents was much more decorated and furnished. He slowly rose from his flat position on the bed, taking note of every ache and pain. His arm burned slightly when moved, and turning to inspect the offending limb, Logan wasn't surprised to see the small telltale prick that he had been drugged. His head still felt as if someone had pumped his ears full of water, the sounds echoing around him, while his mouth seemed to be filled with cotton. Logan had never hated drugs more than he did right now. Slowly but surely, Logan swung his legs over the side of the bed, slowly pulling himself up. His knees shook slightly under his weight, yet thankfully held. He began to quietly walk, taking it slowly, only step by step since his body was still shaking and weak from the drugs running through his system. Due to his unsteady pace, it took Logan a good 5 minutes to find the staircase in this unfamiliar house, slowly beginning his decent down them, his tired eyes carefully took in the pictures running down the whitewash wall. They were all of him and his grandparents as Logan grew through his years, beginning when he was just a few months old as a baby, cuddled up his younger looking grandfather's arms, to his first day of school where his grandmother was proudly holding him while his late mother smiled in the background, his 10th birthday, blowing out the candles while grinning like an idiot, and many other moments of time in his life. Why had he been so angry at his grandparents? They'd always been there for him; the least he should be able to do is be loyal to their wishes. But, something in Logan's heart told him that they were wrong, those boys he'd seen back in the field before his grandparents had stormed in, could they have been telling the truth? Logan was experience feelings he didn't knew where to place, why did he feel guilt for leaving them? Longing to be back by those three boys' sides? It was just all so confusing.

Logan tried to find his way around the unfamiliar place, looking for his grandparents. He entered a gigantic kitchen, much bigger than any he had ever seen before. It had a country feel to it, brown counters with grey marble surfaces and a big island in the middle. It looked to already be stocked up as he saw many of the things from their old kitchen in it. Next was a study, with a very modern computer and fish tank, a big library with a dozen books in (he was sure he would like spending time in there), a bathroom and several reception rooms. This house was massive! He would probably get lost soon enough. Logan finally walked into what seemed to be the main living room; it had a large TV, three brown leather couches, a few books shelves, a coffee table and massive French windows looking out into a field-like garden and...wait, was that a pool? He directed his attention back to the occupants of the room. Sitting on the couches were his grandparents, his grandpa watching the horse racing and his grandmother reading a magazine. When they saw their grandson shuffling in, John quickly got up and helped him sit down next to his grandmother. Logan leaned back, resting his head. The drugs that were still clogging his body were making him feel nauseous. He suddenly remembered why he had tried to find them in the first place.  
"Why did you drug me?" he asked bluntly. His grandparents shared a look, silently communicating with their eyes.  
"Well...those boys were...they were trying to lead you down the wrong path again sweetie, we had to make sure they didn't start to influence you in the wrong way again." His grandmother replied smoothly.  
"Oh, so drugging me and taking me to this strange house was the answer? Why couldn't you just talk to me?"  
"We-we didn't know what you would say, we always wonder if what we're doing is enough, we know you miss your parents and we know we can never live up to them. We know you don't love us as much as you did them." They were now playing the guilt trip card, and his grandparents knew it. But, this was the only way to make Logan cooperate.  
"No! I do love you, really I do. You've been nothing but loving and caring towards me, I'm sorry I ever doubted your judgement. Angels are meant to listen to their elders, right?" His grandparents nodded, smiles of accomplishment on their faces.  
"Do you like this place Logan? We're in the area that we grew up in, you grew up in before we all moved to Minnesota. We think living here in Texas will be a good thing, it's more religious over here in this neighbourhood than in Minnesota as well. Plus, there's a sister centre to the one in Minnesota, so the people can still come to check up on you and teach you." Logan thought about what they had said.  
"Well I guess that's...great." he replied.  
"Good, and Logan, now we're away from them, can you promise us you'll take your pills, they won't cause any more pain." Logan looked hesitant, but this would help him. And who was he to deny the sweet people who only had his best interests at heart? He took the stronger medication from them and swallowed the tiny tablets, lying down as yet again he felt extremely woozy. However, all the time he had been down here, he couldn't shake this one thing off his mind, it was implanted there firmly. And that one thing...was Kendall.

* * *

The blonde in question was now sat at the dinner table with his mother, younger sister, James and Carlos. When the three boys had come home with tears in their eyes and heavy hearts, Jennifer Knight knew the perfect cure, that cure just so happened to be Dinosaur chicken! Kendall picked at his food, his emerald gaze directed towards the pine table, since they had all sat down, hardly any food had passed through Kendall's lips, and he was too focused on what they'd seen at the park. Logan had agreed to listen to them; if they'd just spoken a little quicker they possibly could have brought him back to them! But no, those devil's helpers themselves had come and torn poor Logan away from them, just as they'd been getting somewhere. Kendall could still remember the look on his best friend's face, one full of confliction and confusion; those people were messing with his head! Filling it with lies and taking out everything that made Logan the amazing person he was! Kendall didn't like it, not one bit. The Logan he knew was logical and a deep thinker, wanting to know anything about everything. That was one thing that had always confused people about their favourite brunette, there was no logical theory or explanation behind the existence of God, but Logan believed it with all of his heart, yet everything else had to have an explanation to be real to him.  
"Kendall? Are you alright? You've hardly touched your dinosaur chicken." Kendall's mom brought him out of the dazed mindset that he had put himself in, blinking wearily for a second to try and bring his mind back to reality instead of the dark thoughts of wonder, wonder over whether he'd ever get his boyfriend back.  
"Yeah, Mom, I'm fine, just not feeling very hungry right now." He proved his point by letting his fork fall back onto the plate, sighing a little as the piece of cutlery clashed with the porcelain plate. "I'm gonna head upstairs and watch a movie, Carlos, James, wanna join me when you're done eating?" Kendall smiled lightly at them as they nodded then headed up to his bedroom, scanning through his movie collection until he found Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2. Placing it in his DVD player and grabbing the remote, Kendall lounged back on his bed and watched as it began. Although he loved the film, watching it filled Kendall's heart with sadness. This had always been his and Logan's film, their first date having been going to see part 1 together, then again going to see part 2 a year later when it was released in the cinema. Every week it was their Sunday night tradition to sit down together, cuddle up and watch a Harry Potter movie, and it hurt that it could possibly never happen again. Feeling slightly empty, Kendall reached over and grabbed the large stuffed turtle that lay beside his pillow. It wasn't much compared to the extravagant gifts some couples gave each other, but Logan had bought it for him last Christmas, it was all he'd been able to afford and had to save up a few weeks just to get that. The stuffed animal meant everything to Kendall, especially now that he didn't have the real Logan to hold. It didn't take long for Carlos and James to join him, taking in the heartbreaking sight of Kendall curled up on the bed fully dressed, his face buried deeply into the turtle's soft furry shell, trying to hold in his tears which were swimming with memories. The film was drawing to the end now, Kendall having come out from his little curled up position to watch as Neville jumped up and sliced Nagini's head clean off with the sword of Gryffindor, grandpa cardigan and all. A smile graced Kendall's pale face, after he and Logan had gone to see this film together, Logan had become obsessed with wearing cardigans, said something about if Neville could save the Wizarding World in a cardigan, he'd better wear them too, just in case he was needed. Although Logan was smart, no-one could say he wasn't a joker as well. Sighing a little, Kendall let his head droop onto Carlos's shoulder, he missed his Logan so much.

* * *

3 weeks he had been in this new house. Everything went by relatively normally. His grandparents were relaxed and happy. He was relaxed and happy. And...well, maybe he was relaxed...and yes, he was happy, but ever since the day they moved in, he couldn't shake the image of those three boys who apparently had been best friends with him for life. Even if they hadn't of said it, he could tell by the loving yet hurt look that graced their features. He hadn't gone back on his promise. He did take those pills and now his wings were fully healed; they didn't hurt anymore and he could fly properly now. But, the pills didn't affect him in the way that his grandparents thought they did. He did forget most things from his past, but the one-or rather three things he couldn't forget were those boys. Kendall, James and Carlos. He had been having weird dreams. They were fuzzy, but he could always see himself on an ice rink, in the dead of winter, dressed in nothing but a bobble hat and scarf. There were others. Three others. And now, he was almost sure, almost positive, that the three in his dream were Kendall, James and Carlos. He sighed as he rounded another corner. The house was so old that it had secret passages and he had said to himself that today he would finally explore them. He opened up another door and what he was met with confused him. Boxes. Lots and lots of boxes, some piled on top of each other and some just thrown about. He thought they had unpacked everything by now. Picking up the largest box, he sat on floor and opened it up. He must have jumped ten feet high from what he saw on top. There, staring back at him was a photo. It pictured four boys all around the age f 10. They were obviously celebrating something, considering there was a trophy and they were all in hockey jerseys. But, the boys-there was no mistaking that they were Kendall, James, Carlos and...him. In fact, Logan looked happy with them. Digging further into the box, he found more photos, more recent ones. And suddenly, it came back to him. They were all best friends, Kendall was his boyfriend, he followed God but didn't hate homosexuals. What had he become? His grandparents hadn't helped him, they'd destroyed his life, his friend's lives and moulded him into what they wanted him to be. An angel. Was he even meant to be an angel? He didn't know the truth about everything, but he definitely knew one thing he needed to do. He needed to get out of there, away from his grandparents, and back to his friends.

Logan waited until the dead of night to make his move, carefully creeping down the hallway with a plastic bag full of clothes and belongings clutched in his arms. Joining the clothes in the bag were the photos he'd found, he didn't fully trust those three boys yet, but he knew they'd been telling the truth, he just had to remember them, remember who he was. He must have been special to the boys for them to get so upset over him, right? Right, that had to be the truth, that was real, they cared for him, they wanted him to be alright. Logan made sure that his grandparents were sleeping peacefully, since finding the pictures he'd been putting on an act, making sure they expected nothing, they'd fallen asleep with smiles on their faces, assuming everything was right with their grandson again. They'd brainwashed him to 'help' him? How could he know what was right and wrong anymore? Logan shook the thoughts from his head and made his way out of the house, slowly and quietly closing the door behind him. The air was chilly through his thin pyjamas, causing him to shiver slightly, both with the cold and excitement. This was it, he was escaping, he was really doing this! Looking up into the clear night sky, Logan prayed, he asked God to forgive him for going against his elders, but he needed to leave, he needed to do what was best for himself rather than what people were brainwashing him to be. He was Logan, no-one else. They'd even deformed him and gave him wings! Surely, if God had wanted him to be an angel, he would have been born with the wings, not have had them surgically added, but that was beside the point, he was stuck with them now. Spreading his now pain free wings out from their cramped position against his spine, Logan slipped the feathered limbs through the convenient slits he'd cut into the back of his shirt. The flight to Minnesota would be long and he was bound to get lost, so he should at least try to stay as warm as possible by being able to keep his shirt on while flying. He beat his wings down a few times, sighing in bliss as he was lifted off the ground, going higher and higher until he was soaring with the clouds, it was an amazing feeling, staring down at the earth as though the people were mere ants, he felt powerful and in control. He turned in the air a few times, soaring through loops and making patterns in the clouds, laughing joyfully as the puffy shapes of water soaked him to the core. But now it was time to stop messing around and begin flying to Minnesota, get back to his friends and Kendall, he hoped they enjoyed seeing him arrive, he wanted to surprise them, and especially when he told them he believed them. Logan still didn't fully understand why he wanted to see these three boys light up with glee, it was still engrained in his mind that these boys were evil, but he loved them as brothers deep in his heart, and no amount of brainwashing would change that.

* * *

Kendall, James and Carlos were preparing for another day without Logan. James and Carlos had slept round Kendall's last night, so that they all could get more comfort, but so they knew that none of them would go anywhere either. Everyone had just gotten downstairs for breakfast, about to sit down and at least try to eat without having an empty hole in their chests from when Logan had left and ripped their hearts out. Kendall had his fork in hand, deciding that he should finally try to eat at least half a plate full because Logan wasn't coming back into his life anytime soon, when the doorbell rung. Finding it strange for someone to be ringing the doorbell at 8:15 in the morning, the three boys got up and went to answer the door, in case any of them needed extra protection. They had been a lot more paranoid since Logan was taken away from them as well. Something like because one of their foursome had already been snatched from their grasp by his evil grandparents, another could as easily be ripped apart from them in the blink of an eye. They literally didn't trust anybody they didn't know or hadn't met. Kendall looked back at James and Carlos as they stopped in front of the oak wood door. He placed his hand on the door handle and slowly brought it open. What they saw shocked them into oblivion. They really weren't expecting to see him ever again. For, standing right outside on their doorstep, soaked to the skin, was Logan. He was wearing pyjamas that were drenched with water, to match his dripping hair that was plastered to his forehead. His wings were by his sides, squeezing through two slits in the back of his shirt. He was panting like he had been on an incredibly long journey. And they it dawned on the boys. Had he flown all the way from where his grandparents moved him to here? For them?  
"Logan" Kendall whispered, it barely being there due to the pure shock each of the boys were going through. Logan smiled hesitantly, like he still didn't trust them, but trusted them more than when they last saw him. He spoke, still panting.  
"I...I-made...it" with that, his eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed, falling forward into Kendall's open arms.

* * *

Kendall's green eyes were wide in disbelief as he held the fallen boy tight in his grip, the whole situation feeling very unreal. He would have sworn it was a dream had he not been able to feel Logan's light, swallow breaths against his chest. Carlos was the first to snap out of the daze that Logan's appearance had put them in, quickly grabbing Logan's ankles and helping Kendall get him inside and onto the couch. Kendall shouted for his mother as they lay Logan down, hurriedly stripping the frozen pyjamas from his shivering body, to most people this would be strange, three fully grown boys pulling off the clothes of the smaller one, but to them it was just normal. Logan was soaking wet and was going to get sick if he didn't take the clothes off soon, and he had nothing, apart from the wings, that they hadn't seen before, so what was the problem? Jennifer Knight hurried into the lounge, gasping slightly when she saw Logan lying just in his boxers with pure white wings wrapped around him protectively, his skin was pale, contrasting harshly with the red flush that had developed on his cheeks. She knelt beside the boy she'd grown to care about as a son, gently placing her hand on his feverish forehead. "He's burning up," she informed them sadly, deciding to ask about the wings and why on earth Logan was actually there anyway another time. Making her way over to the closet, Jennifer Knight pulled out a thick woollen blanket, tucking it around Logan and his wings while telling James to go get a damp and cold towel, which he did without question. Tears gently rolled down Logan's cheeks as he slept, the odd pained whimper escaping his paled lips as fevered dreams haunted him. Kendall reached over, gently wiping one of the tears away with the pad of his thumb. 'No matter what they've done to you Logan, I'll help you; I'll bring you back to us.'

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**There it is. How was it? We really need to know if this is good or not, and if there are any mistakes or something. We love feedback, be it good or bad and it helps us improve the story and improve as writers. We won't however, be able to know how to improve or what you like without you reviewing, so could we ask you to review. Pretty please with cookies on the side? Thanks :)**

**Once again, I hope you understand the reason why we won't update for two weeks now and I hope you will still read this story when we update again.**

**You are all so kind and nice by the way, I know I definitely wouldn't be able to get by without all your support and I'm sure it's the same for Lunachu. :)**

**Thank you so much!**

**~swagUPwindowsDOWN & Lunachu :) x**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey! Look who it is with another update! I'm back from my holiday and now me and Lunachu have been able to work on chapter 6...and now it's up! We're starting chapter 7 as we speak! Can we personally thank all the people that have reviewed, followed and favourited right from the start. It really means a lot to us, showing us that what we write isn't rubbish! Plus, everyone who followed, favourited or reviewed whilst we hadn't uploaded for 2 weeks really made it feel like you were all waiting for us! I hope you were! We really put our effort into this chapter and it's our longest one!**

**We don't own Big Time Rush...what a sad, sad world that is :P**

**Enjoy! :)**

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A harsh, hacking sound awoke Kendall from his light sleep, James and Carlos rising at the noise as well. Squinting over at the clock revealed the time to be just gone 7am. In their groggy states, it took them a few minutes to remember why they were sleeping in the living room in the first place. Logan. He'd come back, flown all the way and collapsed into Kendall's arms. Mama Knight had seen Logan and his wings, not saying anything about it and instead caring for Logan to get his spiked fever down. Another harsh cough sounded and they all turned to the direction if the couch. Logan was sitting up on the couch, one hand over his mouth, the other clutching the area around his ribs. He had tears rolling down his eyes and seemed to be panting slightly, as if he was finding harder to breathe. Kendall immediately dashed over, jumping over the coffee table like it was a hurdle and placed himself on the edge of the couch. Very slowly, because he didn't know how much Logan actually trusted him yet, he put his hand on Logan's lower back, pleased when the younger boy didn't flinch. He started rubbing circles as he pulled Logan into his lap, being mindful to never go up far enough to touch his wings. No, they would address that situation later.  
"Shh, calm down, it's ok" he soothed as if they were magically best friends again, maybe even boyfriends, but Kendall knew Logan would never go that far. The main concern was to get Logan breathing at a regular speed. James and Carlos ventured over, James taking the spot on the end of the couch and Carlos directly in front of them on the floor, gently patting Logan's knee. "That's better, in and out" Kendall continued once Logan seemed to be listening to him. As the ragged breaths turned into just slightly strained inhales and exhales, they relaxed. Kendall placed his hand on the winged boy's forehead, glad that it seemed his fever had broken. No one spoke; nothing could be heard apart from the incessant ticking of the clock and the occasional cough or clearing of a throat from Logan.  
"Logan...what-why did you come here?" James spluttered out, finding his words not coming out as easily as he thought they would. Logan doesn't look up, keeping his eyes trained on his fidgeting fingers.  
"Please tell us, we want to help" Carlos says so beggingly that Logan has to look at him, with his confused brown orbs.  
"I-I-I found some photos, of...us. I needed to see what was right or not" he paused briefly to cough into his arm. "I don't think I believe some of the things my grandparents are telling me anymore and it's-it's just really hard." he told them barely above a whisper. However, new hope has sparked in the three boys. If Logan doesn't believe them and found photos, then surely he might believe them.  
"Where are these photos then?" Kendall asked. "We'll tell you everything you want to know."

Logan slowly reached for the small bag he'd brought with him, his arms shaking slightly with weakness and strain. His body was still exhausted, Logan couldn't risk straining himself more after such a long flight. Carlos, noticing what he was reaching for, happily grabbed it and placed the rough brown bag in Logan's lap, then, sensing that at least now Logan wouldn't shove them away, he placed himself on the end of the couch by Logan's feet, watching at the pale boy reached into the bag. The pale hand rooted around for a few seconds, before pulling out a crumpled, wet photograph and placing it gently on the cushion, following that, Logan began pulling out photo frames, the wood splitting from the damp on some of the frames, but the pictures otherwise intact. His fingers gently traced something on the first, ruined picture, his eyes seeming to fill with tears in front of the other three boy's eyes. Seeing Logan so at war with himself, it was tearing Kendall's heart in two. So, slowly and carefully, Kendall placed his warm, calloused hand on top of Logan's soft one, squeezing gently in comfort and urging him to start talking. The brunette cleared his throat gently as he began.  
"I found boxes, lots of boxes filled with my belongings while I was exploring my... my Grandparents' house in Texas. When I opened the one closest to me, this picture was lying at the top, coated in dust." He carefully turned the picture to them, the three boys being greeted by themselves in their younger years, maybe around 9 or 10. They were all grinning wildly in hockey jerseys and helmets, clutching tight hold of a trophy while they struggled to all fit into the photograph and have a fair hold on their prize. James couldn't help but smile lightly as the memories came flooding back.  
"That was a few years ago, we were 10 and we'd just won our first Ice Hockey Tournament. Granted it was with a load of other kids our age, but we were all so proud of ourselves. Your parents took us out for dinner afterwards to celebrate, the classic McDonalds meal. Let me tell you, bumps and bruises from hockey had never been more worth it." James's eyes were glazed over as he smiled, remembering the day. They'd all been so happy and innocent, long before Logan and Kendall had begun dating, they were all just best friends, enjoying each other's company. James didn't really blame the two for getting together, they had obvious chemistry and meant the world to each other, but it had definitely caused tension in the group for a little while afterwards.  
James was so lost in the memory; he hadn't noticed the thick silvery tears flooding down Logan's cheeks. Kendall was immediately at the boy's side, running his hand through Logan's hair and rubbing his lower back in comfort, trying desperately to make the tears stop.  
"Logan, Logie what's wrong? Why are you crying? That's a happy memory!" Logan sniffed, shaking his head firmly as he buried it closer into Kendall's firm chest, allowing the salty water to soak his shirt.  
"I want my parents, why did they have to die? They wouldn't have lied to me like Grandma and Grandpa did..." He sobbed, clutching onto the fabric. Carlos's eyes filled with the same liquid as he watched his usually strong best friend break down, especially as to why he was so upset. Why had the people at the institute thing been so cruel to him? Logan didn't deserve any of it.  
"Logan," Carlos began slowly, reaching out to touch the pale boy's shoulder. "Your parents aren't dead; those people have warped your mind."

Logan looked at him in utter disbelief, deciding if he should pull away and leave now whilst he had the chance or stay and hear them out. He opted for the second; if he didn't believe his grandparents it might be because he knew in the back of his mind they were lying. But...his parents were alive? That couldn't be true could it? His grandparents had shown him their graves one day and he had taken some flowers with him. He had visited their old house, now sold onto a different couple. And above all, he had seen the death certificates. They were dead. There was no changing that, no matter how much these boys wanted him to be happy. But he said they warped his mind. Did they mean his grandparents or everyone in general?  
"W-wh-what d-d-o you m-mean? They're d-de-ad" he stuttered, his wings unconsciously folding closer to his bare upper half. Mama Knight had decided it best to leave a top off Logan because of the white wings now added onto his back.  
"They aren't dead. They're alive. You're grandparents took you away and sent you to that institute and they did things to you. We don't know exactly what-well, apart from one thing" James told him. Logan looked at the fluffy white wings he had grown to love. Yes, they had given him them, but only because he was destined to be an angel. Why couldn't they understand that? And they did things to him?  
"I think you might have got it wrong" Logan replied, an uncertain waver present in his voice.  
"No. No we haven't. You're parents are alive! We were with them a few days ago! Please believe us Logan! They did something to you and we lost our best friend! He changed...in more ways than one" Carlos persists.  
"I was destined to be an angel ok! Ever since I was born! They just gave me my wings so that I could finally help people properly. God meant this for me, God made it my-"  
"No one's destiny is to be an angel Logan" Kendall softly interrupts. "I'm sorry, but THEY wanted you to be an angel. To mould you into the perfect boy, not God, them" Logan was already shaking his head.  
"No. That's not true. It was meant to be, God's Holy light even shone upon me. It's tru-what's that?" his attention was drawn to a photo frame buried underneath the others. Taking it out, his eyes widened in horror at what he saw. Him and Kendall. Him and Kendall on the same couch he was on at the moment. Him and Kendall...kissing. He dropped the photo frame as if it were burning his hands and he shot up from the couch so fast that he stumbled backwards into the wall. "Y-you...t-that...YOU!" he shouted pointing a finger at Kendall. "Being like that is wrong! Very wrong! It's a sin! It-it shouldn't be allowed! Why are we doing that?! Why did I do that?! I didn't do that!" he was full out yelling now, gripping his hair in frustration. Mama Knight had been watching the scene unfold outside and now stepped in as well. "I may have felt that way before, but I don't now! That's why I was sent away! I was TAINTED! I BETRAYED GOD AND I WAS TAINTED! That sort of behaviour only brings pain! It brings punishment! The electric shocks and beatings! That's what it brings!" Logan was going mental, pulling at his hair and pacing around. But the thing was he was slowly revealing everything he had been put through. Someone would have gone over to calm him down, but they wouldn't be able to do that. He had to calm down on his own. "I'm an angel! An angel, an angel, an angel! I don't sin! I help people! I got my wings because I'm an angel! That's what they said! That's what they sai-" and he suddenly stops. Stops pacing and looks directly at them. "That's what they said" he whispers, a look of dreaded dawning etching onto his face. And then before they can say anything, he suddenly clutches his head so tightly his knuckles go white. He screams, agonised and torturing as he sinks to his knees. He's still screaming when he manages to get out a pained whimper. "They all lied" and that's when Logan's eyes close and his body falls limp.

* * *

Kendall's heart leapt into his throat as he watched Logan's pale, tortured body crumple in on its-self and fall into a heap on the soft, carpeted floor. His feathered wings twitched a little, before falling limply across Logan's upper body like a sort of blanket. Kendall rushed over to the fallen body, ignoring his mother's request to stay back.  
"Logan? Logie can you hear me? Are you alright? Logan!" He rolled the boy onto his back, being careful not the crush his wings, and gripped tightly onto his shoulders, shaking them in desperation.  
Logan's beautiful brown eyes remained closed and still, his breaths still wheezing slightly as he attempted to breathe through the harsh cold he had developed from the flight. Logan's fingers were still firmly threaded through his hair, gripping onto his scalp for dear life. Kendall gently rubbed the back of Logan's hands, watching as his tense fingers finally loosened and fell from his hair.  
"Kendall," James began gently, also worried for their small friend. "Let's get him back on the couch and warm, alright? We can see how he is when he wakes up." Waiting until Kendall nodded in agreement, they both lifted Logan and lay him back on the couch, forcing his wings to fold beneath him comfortably and lifting up the woollen blanket to his shoulders, tucking it around him. Logan's face was now peaceful and relaxed, no trace of the break down he had just had showing on his porcelain white skin. His eyelids fluttered gently as a response to the dream he was having, the long eyelashes gently brushing against the slightly pink cheeks that were flushed with the returning fever. However, the boy showed no signs of regaining consciousness any time soon.  
Kendall sighed lightly and began running his fingers through Logan's hair like he had earlier on when Logan had began crying, gently massaging the pads of his fingers into the boy's scalp in a desperate attempt to comfort him once more. Carlos was now stood by Mrs Knight, his eyes filled with scared tears as his body trembled lightly, fully shaken up by Logan's break down. It was obvious that Carlos had never witnessed someone's mental state break like that before, especially since it was such a un-Logan way to act. The image of his strong, smart, logical friend had been shattered, leaving a shell of the person Logan had once been. A shell of a person who had been filled with lies, his body mutated beyond reason with the white wings that stuck out from horrible scars on the boys back. His Logie-bear was broken, and Carlos prayed that they'd be able to put him back together soon. They all needed the rock support that was Logan to get them through every hardship.

* * *

Logan remained asleep for the rest of the morning and throughout the day. They had been eating in the living room next to Logan for breakfast and lunch, too afraid that he might wake up and freak out if no one was there. This morning really showed them how much the people in the institute had damaged Logan, not just mentally but physically too. Everything that had gone on, all the punishments and beatings and everything else that might have happened had basically scared Logan's mind into thinking-believing that being gay was wrong. He thought you got punished for being gay and he probably had been. Kendall sighed as he watched the feverish boy sleep, his wings still cocooning him as he was oblivious to everything around him. Kendall glanced back at where the wings joined onto Logan's back, seeming to meld into it. He traces one of the angry red scars. They had done this to him and not just the wings. Kendall could also see a faint scar running along Logan's hairline and he suspected they could have altered his mind manually as well. The things they had done in that place, not just to Logan, but to everyone that had ever stayed there. It was inhumane and they all knew it.

* * *

Carlos hardly approached Logan for the whole 3 days he was asleep, he hung in the corner of the living room, watching his once best friend sleep, worry etched into all of his features, however, he didn't approach. One time, while Kendall and Mrs Knight were coaxing water and thin soup through Logan's sleeping lips, Logan had suddenly tensed up and started screaming, all colour draining from his face as he started shaking madly as if being electrocuted. His voice cracked through the pain he must have been feeling, his throat quickly becoming sore and strained as Kendall, James and Mrs Knight rushed and struggled to calm the boy and stop his violent screams. But they just kept going. Carlos stayed cowered in the corner of the room, covering his tear soaked eyes yet peering through his fingers as he watched his best friend convulse and screech in pain. Sobs heaved from his lungs, the odd hiccup sneaking its way into his throat as he continued to just stare, doing nothing to help. He just couldn't handle it, he didn't understand. Logan had done nothing wrong, nothing at all, yet all this had been happening to him. Horrible flashbacks that seemed to be causing actual pain, sickness, fever, and a mental break down, it was all just so unfair. Logan didn't deserve it, there was no way he did! Finally, Logan's pained screams drew to a close and he fell back to the couch, the pure wings once again twisting around and covering him protectively. There wasn't a dry eye in the room, the two Knights and James that leant over the small, pale boy sobbing openly at their friend, not even bothering to hide how scared they were. Mrs Knight gently wrapped her arms around the once again sleeping boy, stroking his hair gently and whispering soothing words into his ear, trying to ward off any approaching nightmares that might plague the boy she's come to see as a son. It just wasn't fair.

* * *

There was one occasion where they were all in the kitchen and not with Logan who still had not woken up. Jennifer put it down to his fever and emotional trauma, saying his mind needed time to relax. It was the early hours of the morning and no one could sleep. They were all around the table, drinking hot chocolate when they heard a noise. Like something had bumped into something close by. Thinking nothing more of it, they resumed the quiet chat they had managed to bring up. That was until another presence entered the kitchen. Logan stood in the doorway, swaying unsteadily on his feet. His eyes remained closed and didn't acknowledge anyone.  
"Logan?" James asked hopeful but confused. Logan showed no sign of hearing him, walking into the room and mumbling incoherently to himself. He walked slowly, dragging his legs and his arms limp by his sides. His wings were still wrapped around him somewhat like he was still asleep. Then it hit them.  
"Is he sleepwalking?" Kendall asked bewildered. Mama Knight slowly got up and walked over to Logan, placing a hand on his shoulder and shaking it slightly.  
"Logan, baby, are you ok? Don't you need to be in bed?" She asked him seeing if he could hear anyone. Logan's head turned towards her direction but instead of replying he pleaded with her: "Please don't give me another shot! I'll be good! I'll be good! I promise! Please, please, please" his words were thick with sleep, but it was clear what he was saying. "What do you mean honey? No one is going to give you any shots" she spoke as she gripped both of his shoulders. Logan struggled to get out of her grip, but couldn't. "Please! I'm sorry! Don't hit me! No...no please..." Logan was sobbing now, still trying to escape. "Ow! Ow! Ow!" He yelled flinching as of someone was hitting him repeatedly. Tears in her eyes, Mama Knight could on hug Logan close as he continued to flinch and cry. Suddenly, as soon as it started, he fell limp in her grip, once again in sleepy abyss. Kendall carried Logan to the couch and Mama Knight again ran her fingers through Logan's hair, wishing that soon he'd wake up for real.

* * *

Eventually, the woman's wish was granted. It had been 3 full, long days before Logan showed any sign of fully waking, and when he did, it wasn't a pretty sight. Kendall sat beside Logan's still, sleeping form, running his fingers up and down his pale back, gently massaging between his wings, his emerald green eyes never leaving Logan's motionless face. Carlos, James and Mrs Knight had all gone to bed, needing to catch up on their much needed sleep, whereas Kendall had refused to leave Logan all alone. His eyes had been drooping closed slowly, the clock that perched on the wall above their head ticking mockingly, counting away the seconds, minutes and hours that Logan had been locked away in his own mind. Kendall had been about to give up on Logan waking that night, and stood, carefully patting himself down of the dust that had collected on his jeans from the long time sat still, having to take his comforting touch away from Logan's back in order to do so. Then, it happened. Logan moaned lightly, his beautiful brown eyes slowly cracking open and being once again exposed to the earth they had hidden from for days on end. They were slightly clouded and confused as the irises traced around the room, slowly taking in their surroundings before focusing on the shocked blonde that stood to his left.  
"Hey," Logan croaked softly, his voice hoarse from being unused for so long.  
"Hey yourself," Kendall replied, very slowly approaching Logan, happy to see he didn't flinch away. He sat back down, placing his hand back on Logan's back and resuming the gentle massage he had taken up, smiling lightly as he watched Logan's eyes begin to drift closed into a natural sleep.

Kendall must have drifted off too sometime after that, because he was startled awake by James and Carlos bounding into the room.  
"Aww! He's still not awake!" Carlos commented sadly as this is what it appeared to them, not knowing of the events that occurred last night. Mrs Knight had now also arrived and also sighed. Kendall however, kept on smiling, confusing the others.  
"He woke up last night. Just as I was about to leave he opened his eyes! Sure he only said hey, but it's something!" He exclaimed excitedly. Carlos started to jump on the spot. "Really?!" He cried and whooped loudly when Kendall nodded yes in reply. James joined in and Mama Knight was grinning broadly. All the commotion going on around the room caused another moan to emit from Logan, his body turning slightly and his eyes blinking open. He looked at all the ecstatic people around him and asked.  
"Wha's 'appenin'." Well more like slurred it. Carlos ran over, taking Logan into his arms, lifting him up and spinning him around yelling "you're awake! You're awake!" He gently set him down on his feet again, but Logan being still too week, swayed and stumbled around trying to find the balance he once possessed. Before he lost his footing completely, Kendall scooped him up in his arms and set him back on the couch, wrapping the blankets around him and sitting at his feet.  
"Carlos, Logan's still very sleepy and out of it. He's not too strong at the moment, so just beware" Kendall told the Latino. Carlos saluted him back. Logan suddenly changed his position. Sitting up and leaning in to Kendall's side. Now that hadn't been seen in a very long while.

Kendall was still unable to keep the large smile from his face as Logan snuggled up closer, his tired eyes still drooping dangerously as he made himself comfortable against Kendall's rib cage, his pale, warm face nuzzling gently into Kendall's collar bone. Carlos and James stared on in shock as Logan openly showed affection for the first time since the fateful day that the two had been torn away from each other by his Grandparents, forcefully ripped from each other's gentle grasp.  
"How you doing there, Logie? Feeling alright?" Kendall asked gently, leaning over and moving a few strands of hair away from Logan's eyes with his finger tip.  
Logan moaned lightly, slowly rubbing his cheek and nose up against Kendall's shoulder in another desperate bid to find a comfortable position against the blonde's soothing aura.  
"I'm alright," He told Kendall, the slur still present in his voice from how tired he was, but much easier to understand now. "Sleepy, hurting."  
Kendall immediately sat up a little, causing Logan to moan lightly once more as he was jolted by the violent movement. Kendall was about to ask Logan, but Carlos beat him to it, albeit louder then Kendall was planning.  
"You hurt?! Where?! It wasn't my fault was it?! I'm sorry if I hurt you! Don't hate me Logiebear! Please?!" He pleaded, even dramatically dropping to his knees and placing his hands together in apology. Logan's face broke out into a small, crooked smile, the first one the boys had seen in quite a while.  
"It's fine, Carlos, you didn't hurt me really..." he trailed off, his eyes focusing on a very interesting patch of carpet while picking at a loose strand of thread on the blanket he was wrapped in.  
"Logan," James began slowly, approaching the small boy, urging him to continue. When Logan said nothing, James continued talking, pushing his still messy bangs away from his eyes. "You need to tell us where you hurt so we can help."  
Logan still refused to look up from where his eyes were focused, but began to talk. "My heart, my heart hurts and I don't know why. It isn't a scary pain really, just emotional. I feel so guilty and scared. My heart hurts James, help me..." He trailed off once more, eyes filling with tears as he desperately clung to Kendall's arm, still nuzzling his face into the warm skin and pyjamas that Kendall wore.

* * *

**Aww! Poor Logie! I must thank Lunachu for coming up with the whole 'heart hurting' part! She's a legend, seriously read her stories if you already haven't! So, did you like chapter 6? Did all that effort pay off? We would really like to know what you think about our story and what you like and dislike about it. We love critcism because in the end it makes us better authors! We have amazing loyal readers and reviewers, but maybe do you think those of you who read and don't review could put in a little word just once? Please, for us. Well, the next chapter is in progress and we hoped you liked this one! Until then!**

**Thank you, **

**~swagUPwindowsDOWN & Lunachu :) x**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey! We now have chapter 7 for you! Just to say, because school has now started up again for the both of us, we won't be able to update every few days. We'll try to get as much done as quick as possible, but we don't have as much time as we did over summer. Still, we can probably get in an update each week, so that's not too bad. Thanks for all your reviews! We love reading them! Also, I'm not sure how much we'll be able to write this week as I'm going to the hospital tomorrow for treatment for something (long story basically me and my sister have this genetic thing that needs treatment) and also later in the week. But that aside, we'll try to write as quickly as we can! **

**We don't own Big Time Rush, but we do have all the windows down!**

**Enjoy! :)**

* * *

The three boys could only blink at Logan. What were they meant to say to that? Kendall tried to figure out some way of consoling Logan, but the best he could come up with was to hug him closer.  
"It's like something's missing. And...I've been thinking about everything and what it might be..." he trailed off and looked at James and Carlos, before his gaze settled on Kendall. "It's you" he said more quietly. Kendall's eyes widened.  
"M-me? Logan, are you serious?" he asked, a thread of hope slowly beginning to sow all of the holes in his heart up. Logan nodded firmly.  
"Yeah. I know that I need something to make me feel whole again. I need our relationship back and boy would I love to have it..."  
"But?" James sensed one coming in Logan's sentence.  
"I-I'm just not ready for that yet. My mind is still so incredibly mixed up and messed with. I can't think about a relationship like that without being freaked out or disgusted. I just can't commit yet." he looked at Kendall, his big brown orbs as wide as saucers and glistening with fat, salty tears. "Kendall...will you wait? Until my mind is back to normal or at least sees that it's ok to be with you? Will you wait...for me?" he asked brokenly. Kendall had tears pricking in his eyes now as his one and truly love, who he thought would never love him again, had told him he would with time. Kendall brought Logan fully into his lap, hugging him as tightly as he could.  
"Of course I will, Logie. I'll wait as long as you want, as long as you need. I could wait days, months and years just to be with you again. I'll hold out for you, and when it's time, I'll be here" he replied, the heartfelt words hitting everybody in the room and leaving them emotional. That right there was love. James and Carlos smiled at each other. Kendall and Logan would be back together eventually, it would just take a bit of waiting. But they also knew now that Logan was getting better, he was seeing what the truth was and what were lies. He was slowly trusting him again. There was hope for them yet.

* * *

Logan was recovering slowly though out the next week, beginning to allow his once close friends approach him more and more. Their Logie was gently shining through, cracking the firm mask that the institute had covered him with, and shattering the shell that he had turned in to. He and Carlos once again began studying Chemistry every night, albeit Logan was still quiet and hesitant towards him. James had begun helping Logan do his hair every morning, carefully pulling the long bangs up into carefully sculpted spikes while the smaller brunette stayed quiet on the chair in front of him. But the most improvement had come with Logan and Kendall's relationship. When they were alone together, it was almost like Logan had never gone to the institute, they cuddled up together on the couch, just watching movies and chatting like they used to, enjoying each others' company. Logan had dozed off on Kendall several times already that week, but the blonde never minded, happily carrying the light boy to the spare bedroom in which Mrs Knight had given him in her home. But it wasn't long until the happy time they were all having began to draw to a close. It began as a fleeting comment from Carlos as the hyperactive boy filled his mouth with a PB+J sandwich.  
"Hey, Logan, do you like your wings? No offence but they look so strange and unnatural! I bet they feel awkward to, just these bony structures poking out of y-Ow!" Carlos said, flinching and pouting as James gently hit him over the head with a glare to shut him up. Carlos looked confused for a second as to why his little rant had been stopped, but realisation dawned on him as he took one look at Logan's crestfallen face. Without wasting any more time, the mutated boy quickly scrambled up from his spot beside Kendall, thick tears already trailing down his paled face. Logan's brown eyes focused on the large, fluffy wings that poked out from his angry red scars, looking more and more horrified as he stared. Then, without warning, Logan's legs began to move, darting through the lounge where the four had been hanging out and straight through the hallway and up the stairs. Logan could hear Kendall crying out his name in shock, the heavy footsteps chasing him as he headed towards the porcelain white room that was known as the bathroom.  
"Logie please wait! What's wrong? Why are you crying? Logan wait!" Kendall exclaimed, reaching out to try and grab his ex boyfriend's arm. Logan just ran faster before slamming the cream bathroom door behind him, the familiar sound of the lock turning and Logan's heart wrenching sobs echoing around Kendall's head.  
Logan, however, wasn't in the right state of mind at all. His eyes darted around the bathroom cabinets, trying to find something, anything to get the wretched attachments off his back. Then, his tear stained eyes focused on something. The shiny silver object was blurred at first, Logan's vision obstructed by the tears that continued to gather at Carlos's innocent words. It wasn't fair, why him? Why had his Grandparents allowed the doctors to attach these wings onto his back, to experiment and test on their own Grandson? Did they not care for his health, both mentally and physically, at all? Logan didn't know, but right now, he didn't care. Quickly picking up the shining object in his trembling hand, Logan turned to the mirror so he could see his wings clearly, they twitched gently in anticipation, as if knowing what Logan was planning with the glimmering switch blade. Before the rational side of his brain could cause him to hesitate, or Kendall who still screamed at him to answer could break into the locked room, Logan began to slash and hack at the beautiful appendages. Ruby blood began to stain the feathers, coating Logan's hands and the white tiles below. The pain didn't even register in Logan's mind as he continued to tear apart the muscle and tendons, the same thought circling over and over in his fogged brain.  
'They look so strange and unnatural. Get them off. Off now. They're so unnatural and strange. Off.'  
Logan's vision began to darken, the floor beneath his socked feet drenched in the crimson life force. His mind lightly registered that Mrs Knight would probably never be able to get the stains out of the once white surface, but there wasn't much he could do about that as he slowly let himself drop to the floor, the bloodied knife tumbling from his pale white fingers with a light clatter and splash. Logan could hear Kendall yelling out to him, screaming his name in terror as the door finally crashed down, revealing the gruesome sight, but as the warm darkness embraced him, Logan couldn't care less.

* * *

"Logan!" Kendall screamed, dropping down next his badly bleeding friend. His trembling hands gently turned Logan onto his side, cringing when he saw Logan's face scrunch up in pain even though he was unconscious. His back was a mess. He had obviously been trying to cut his wings off, or do some damage to them. Kendall couldn't blame Carlos, but he wished that sometimes the kid would watch what he was saying. The wings themselves hadn't been too badly affected. There was a lot of plucked out feathers and a few deep cuts. His actual back was another matter entirely. It was like he had been stabbed multiple times, over and over. But Kendall knew he had done this to himself. The rational side of Kendall quickly took over again and he found some old towels and pressed them over the deepest wounds, shouting for anyone to come and help. And of course, they did. They all ran upstairs: James, Carlos, Katie and Mama Knight. But they weren't expecting to see the blood bath before them. Katie screamed for the first time in her life. James paled three shades lighter and didn't even care about using his Cuda products to sort it out. Carlos had to grab onto the doorframe to keep himself standing; why did he have to say that? And there was no mistaking the gasp that left Mama Knight's lips as she knelt down next to Logan, opposite her son.  
"Logan? Logan, can you hear me?" she waited for the response that never came, the only sign of life being indicated from the harsh, ragged breaths that were making his way past his chapped lips. Logan's skin tone was grey. Grey, like all the warmth, all the life had been sucked out of his small body and bottled for selling.  
"We need to get him to a hospital! Call 911!" James yelled as Katie quickly got the phone and typed in the three digits.  
"No!" Kendall cried, stopping her from calling the number. "We can't take him their! He's got wings! They'll just treat him like some caged animal and experiment on him!" he reminded them of Logan's predicament. Their expressions dropped, crestfallen countenances replacing the hopeful smiles. After a long silence, Carlos whispered:  
"We'll have to take him to the institute."  
"WHAT?!" Kendall, James and Katie said in unison, not believing Carlos would suggest taking Logan to the very place that changed him so much, they practically destroyed him.  
"No, I think Carlos has a point" Mama Knight put in. "They're the only other ones apart from Logan's grandparents that know about this. They know more than us and they're the only ones that can treat him. We'll have to take him."  
"Mom" Kendall wavered. "I...I-I can't let him go back to the place that-that damaged him so much. I don't trust them, they harmed my Logie" his voice cracked at the end of the sentence as he looked down to the emotionless face of his lover. Mama Knight placed her hand on her sons shoulder, causing him to look back up. She had tears swimming in her eyes.  
"Kendall, I don't want him to go back there too. It's the last thing I want. But if he doesn't...Kendall-he might not make it." Kendall thought as his mothers' words resounded in his ears. Logan dying was way worse than Logan not loving him. Silently, he nodded and helped James pick Logan up and bring him out to their car. Luckily, Kendall's mom had known that with Kendall always being as inseparable from James and Carlos as he was, also having Katie and then anyone else who might tag along, she had brought a big car. They laid Logan along the very back seats, Kendall, James and Carlos in front of him and Katie up front with her mom. Without another word, they sped off, hoping to get Logan help in time.

* * *

Kendall peered back at his still lover, emotions swirling and conflicting inside him as he rested his emerald eyes on the motionless body. It seemed so unnatural, seeing Logan so stationary and covered in blood, when he was usually so happy and full of life. However, conflicting this was the thought that Logan looked so peaceful, even with pain etched onto his features. Maybe it was better this way? Logan being taken away from all the pain and confusion he had suffered since the institute had first taken him in, warping and controlling his mind with their painful techniques. Kendall continued to focus his gaze on the pale, shivering boy until James elbowed him harshly in the side.  
"Dude, snap out of it, what's going through your head?" He asked worriedly, glancing apologetically to Kendall's side as the blonde moodily rubbed it.  
"I was just thinking," Began Kendall quietly, half not wanting to express the darker of his two feelings. "Maybe this is for the better? Logan dying, fading out of his world, he wouldn't be lost and confused in his own mind anymore. Maybe he'd be safer and happier. Maybe h-'' Kendall was cut off with a harsh slap around his face, his whole head being thrown to the side by the force behind it. Bewildered, Kendall looked for the offender, looking slightly shocked to see Katie, his younger sister, glaring at him with tears in her eyes from the seats before them, leaning over with her hand still slightly red from the strike.  
"Don't you dare think like that, Kendall! Logan is like a brother to me, you all are, none of us are letting him die! Dying is the easy way out! Logan can overcome all what's happened to him and you know it! We have to save him, so sit down and shut up!"  
James, Kendall and Carlos all just stared at the furious child in front of them, the blonde one of the three feeling slightly ashamed for his thoughts. Katie turned back towards the front of the car, her mother have apparently turned a blind eye towards her youngest hitting her big brother, but all three knew she had known exactly what was going on and agreed with Katie's actions. They all sat in silence now, the only sound being Logan's light, shuddering breaths.

They got their first glimpse at the place that had held Logan hostage about an hour later. It would have been longer, if Mama Knight hadn't of broken all the speed limits on their painstaking journey. Logan had woken up. Three times and counting. He wasn't with them either of those times. No, he had been off in a little dream land. One time he was talking to an imaginary person who was sitting in front of him, whilst another, he just laid deadly silent, staring into nothingness. The third had to be the worst. Logan had woken up again and just as he opened his mouth, getting their hopes up of him actually speaking to them, he screamed. Not just one, but many, pain filled screams erupted out of his mouth, each more gut-wrenching than the last. After that he had drifted back off into his unconscious state, still bleeding heavily out of his back. The building itself was downright depressing. Barely any windows, the ones that were present barred. It looked like they were treating the residents there like caged animals. They pulled up next to the large front door and hurriedly got the sick boy out of the car. Barging past the entrance, they were glad that there was no one else in the reception. More people knowing about Logan's current body features would not have been good.  
"Please! Help!" Katie yelled at the workers standing around the reception. A few rushed over, remembering this boy from all those months ago.  
"What happened? Why is he back with you?" a woman next to them asked. Kendall walked up to her, his height towering against hers.  
"Listen, we don't want any trouble. We just want Logan to get help for his wounds. But, if you change him in any way or do anything at all to him...you're gonna pay. Trust me, you don't want to see me when I'm angry, especially when it's my little brother." His voice dropped, a menacing growl coming out. Kendall sounded more fierce than anyone had ever heard. The staff looked scared and were startled into action, placing Logan on an awaiting gurney and wheeling him down the halls. The family followed until they reached a medical wing. They placed Logan in a room that was isolated from the others and immediately hooked him up to strange machines that could definitely not be legal. They started to try and get the bleeding to stop, putting a tube into his right elbow which had a clear liquid running through and another on his left elbow, with substitute blood going in. Finally after an hour and a half, the bleeding had stopped and they were able to stitch him up. The parts of the wings that were damaged would heal and grow back, but had gauze on as well. They told them Logan would need to remain there for the next few days to monitor for risk of infection. Even though they had this reassurance, they were dreading the minute Logan woke up. What would his mental state be like? And most importantly...how would he react when he wakes up in the very place that tried to change him so much?

* * *

It was a whole 18 hours before Logan opened his beautiful brown eyes again, Kendall sat directly by his left side, gently but firmly gripping his smaller hand in both of his. The blonde's head lay uncomfortably on the edge of the thin mattress, his back bent in a strange position to accommodate the way he had fallen asleep. James lay on a smaller bed to the side of the room, Carlos nuzzled protectively into his side. The Latino's eyes were swollen and red from what Logan could see from his confined space on the bed, and James was always the first one he went to for a source of comfort. Directing his gaze back onto the blonde that lay beside him, it had appeared that Kendall had refused to move from his side, opting to rather cause himself pain than leave Logan alone.  
And that was about the moment that Logan made the realization of where exactly he was.  
The bright white ceiling, the matching walls, the sterile conditions, the less-than-legal machines attached to his arms and back, the windowless room and draining atmosphere, it all came rushing back to him. He was back at the institute, the place that had changed him, both mentally and physically, it had been them that had made him the monster he was, them who had caused him to forget all of those who truly loved him and cared for who he really was, not some angel who had been forced to become that. Logan began to fidget, panic coursing through his veins as his prickling skin became aware of the white leather restraints that pinned him down flat on the bed by his waist, ankles and wrists. The light panic began to grow, mutating and multiplying inside Logan's heart until it had taken over his whole being, just one command floating around his fear-stricken brain.  
'I must escape.'

Kendall was awoken by the bed shaking below his crumpled form, small, panic filled gasps echoing from the white cushioned surface before him, more specifically from the brunette angel that lay there. His green eyes widened in shock, taking in the white-gray tone in which his lover's skin had taken on.  
"Logan!" He exclaimed as he quickly straightened up, his back cracking and screaming in protest at the sudden movement after being cramped for so long. "Logan, Logie calm down! Please before you hurt yourself again! Calm down! Logan!" Tears were beginning to fill Kendall's eyes as he looked down, helpless, while continuing to grip Logan's hand in reassurance, gently rubbing the pad of his thumb against the soft skin on the back in a weak form of comfort. It was then that Logan began to scream.  
"No! No get off me! I need to escape! I must escape! They'll hurt me again! Kendall! Kendall help me please! James! Katie! Carlos! HELP!" With each scream, each painful cry and plea for help, Kendall's heart cracked and broke a little bit more, unable to process his lover being in so much pain and fear while being unable to help. The screams had awoken his other two best friends from their slumber on the other side of the pure white room, James scrambling up to his feet to get over to them.  
"What's happened?! Is Logie alright?! Is he hurt?!" James pleaded for answers, his voice growing higher in pitch with each question in pure panic. Kendall just replied with a quick shake of his head, Carlos once again bursting into tears as Logan continued to scream his best friends' name, pleading for help, for an escape from the cruel world in which Logan was trapped.

Logan struggled against his restraints even more, pulling and pushing at them. Kendall placed his hands gently on the boy's shoulders, panicked eyes finding his own soothing green ones.  
"Logie, listen to me. Yesterday you had a...another break down. You tried to cut off your wings. Logan, your back was bleeding-a lot. Your wings were hurt too, not as bad. You would have died Logie. We had to bring you here, I'm sorry, but we had to" Kendall explained, his voice teary.  
"It was all my fault" Carlos whispered. "I wasn't thinking. At all. It's actually really cool. I'm so sorry Logie, do you forgive me?" Carlos apologized, squinting his eyes shut at the barrels of hateful comments bound to come his way. When nothing came, he cautiously opened one eye, then the other.  
"I forgive you Carlos." Those four words. 17 letters. Carlos flung his arms around Logan, being careful of his recent injuries.  
"I would hug back, you know, if I wasn't tied down to the bed" Logan told him obviously annoyed.  
"They just weren't sure how you would react when you woke up, if you would try to harm yourself again." James replied sympathetically.  
"I've made sure they don't do anything, Logie, you're safe, you're with us." Kendall told him, caringly brushing his hair out of his eyes.

* * *

Logan's eyes slowly began to droop, the eyelids becoming heavy against his will to stay conscious and alert. A gentle confusion set in his mind, he couldn't have been awake more than 5, maybe 10 minutes, right? Why was he suddenly so sleepy and heavy?  
"Logan? Logie are you alright?" Kendall's worried voice reached his ears, echoing slightly through the fog that had descended over him.  
"Logie-bear? W-what's happening to him?" Carlos's childish, innocent voice sounded, although it sounded distant, as if reaching him from the opening of a long, dark tunnel whereas Logan was at the other end. The faces leaning above his stationary body were blurred and fogged over in front of his face, the only feature that helped Logan distinguish between the fuzzy faces being the hair and eye colour, which had always stood out to him, the blonde and green of Kendall, the chestnut brown and hazel of James, and finally the dark brown and chocolate that Carlos possessed. Logan's mind weakly registered that they were all so... so beautiful, although his heart would always be drawn to the golden blonde of the group.  
Kendall's heart was jumping leaps and bounds in his chest, pounding painfully as panic once again ran through him like ice in his veins. Logan's eyes had grown glassy, the boy himself completely unresponsive to the small shakes that all three boys present had been giving his shoulders.  
"Something's wrong, this isn't right! It's like he's been..." Then it dawned on Kendall, his angry green eyes focusing on the machine that attached itself to the inside crook of Logan's right elbow. "They...they've drugged him! Guys they're drugging Logan! Help me get these wires out of him!"  
Carlos and James jumped into action immediately, working on figuring out how to turn off the machine that had been filled with a clear liquid that looked similar to water. It was unfamiliar to the three boys, then again, who knew if the drug was even legal, or hell, even existed in the world outside this institute!  
Once Carlos had figured out how to turn the dreaded machine off, and James had quickly pulled the thin wire from Logan's arm, not being shy about tearing off the sticky dressing that had held the IV in place with a quick tug, much like getting a band-aid off quickly to get it over with. Logan groaned lightly in pain as the wire was fed out of his vein, but the boys were just proud that they had gotten some sort of reaction from the poor, drugged boy.

* * *

Kendall, James and Carlos watched as Logan looked around the room and at them. His pupils were still glassy, although now they were blown wide, massive compared to their normal size. There was no mistaking the fact that Logan had indeed been drugged. But what with? The boys didn't know if it was simply some sort of weird pain relief or if the substance was far more lethal, only used for sinister intentions. Intentions like the ones of the people who had tried to change him in the first place; were they trying to make him forget again? The boy in the bed brought his hands up in front of him, staring in some sort of sick amazement. He grabbed Kendall's hand and inspected that as well, turning it over. He wasn't acting right at all. Logan looked back up at them, but he wasn't actually looking at them. More like through them. His lips pulled into a dopey smile and he started humming a familiar tune, but the three couldn't place it. Logan seemed to be quite happy in his own little world, his drug induced world. Suddenly, all happiness was drawn from Logan's face and a look of sheer terror formed. He hastily backed up into the furthest corner of his bed, pulling his knees up to his chest. His breathing was rapid with panic.  
"No! D-don't let it hurt me! Don't let it get me! Stop!" he cried, pointing to an imaginary thing that was apparently standing over to the side. Kendall, James and Carlos didn't know what to do. Was Logan aware of them? How could they help?  
"Please, stop! Ahhh, no! Stop!" Logan continued to yell, his breaths accelerating even more. The harsh intake of air made him choke which turned into powerful gags. The gagging led to him violently expelling the contents of his stomach all over himself.  
"Logan!" Carlos cried shocked. The three rushed towards him, but Logan wasn't fazed at the vomit dribbling down his chin, or the remnants left on his body. Instead, he quickly climbed out of bed, stumbling as his legs got used to being used again and pulling all the remaining wires out of his body with a harsh snap. He backed into the wall nearest to him and flung his arms around his torso.  
"No! I-I didn't mean it! I don't want them taken away! I didn't mean it!" Logan shrieked at the 'person' in front of him.  
"Logan, what do you mean? What are they trying to take away from you?" Kendall asked in a soft voice, not daring to touch the young boy in case it made things worse.  
"I didn't mean it! I wasn't thinking! Just don't take them! Don't cut them off!" Logan screamed again, crystal tears falling down his face.  
"Don't cut what off, Logan? What are you talking about?" James tried. Logan hugged himself tighter, both of his arms moving around to clutch his back, to clutch his...  
"Please! Don't take my wings!" he sobbed hysterically. Logan's legs suddenly gave out and he slid down the wall, lying on the floor in the foetal position, but with his arms still on the healing, feathery features. His cries quietened and his breaths evened out until he was breathing normally again. He slowly looked up at them, looking exhausted and pale.  
"G-g-guys?" he asked in a whisper.

* * *

**So how was that? We hope you liked it! We're gonna start chapter 8 now! We're really loving how this is turning out! We hope you are too! Stay tuned for the next chapter which will hopefully be uploaded next week or something like that. Remember, reviews are golden and keep us going! So please do review!**

**Thanks,**

**~swagUPwindowsDOWN & Lunachu :) x**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey! It's us again with another update! We hope you like this! It's our favourite chapter yet, we put a lot of effort into this and are both kinda proud with how it turned out. We only hope our efforts paid off. We're both sick at the moment, Anna is having problems with her Asthma and recently my symptoms have been causing me problems and the treatment too. So bare with us if the next update is a bit slow. **

**We don't own Big Time Rush. Happy 23rd birthday to Logan Henderson for tomorrow! We love you! :D **

**Here you go!**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

Logan..." James began gently, reaching over slowly to carefully touch Logan's pale face. "Are you alright..?" Logan just watched his friend, confused before nodding a little.  
"I think so, why wouldn't I be..?" Kendall, who was sitting next to James, reached out and placed his warm hand on Logan's shoulder, squeezing it gently in reassurance.  
"You don't remember?" he questioned, his tone of voice and emerald eyes filled to the peak with worry. When Logan shook his head in confirmation that he didn't, Kendall sighed and smiled lightly at him. "They gave you some sort of drug, you were hallucinating. Are you sure you don't remember?"  
"No, Kendall, I told you, I don't remember, last I knew I was lying in the bed talking to you guys...Now I'm on the floor..." He smiled up at them sheepishly. Kendall sighed once more, helping Logan unsteadily to his feet.  
"You just had a little freak out is all, you were...were talking to someone, asking them not to take your wings." Logan paled for a second, looking at the floor in thought, before smiling up at them.  
"I'm sure it was nothing! Really! Can we go soon? Just being here gives me the creeps..."

Kendall looked to James and Carlos. Logan had been bandaged up and he looked much better. He nodded.  
"Yes, but only if you promise to rest for a few days when we get home. I agree with you though, it's not a nice place" He grabbed some of Logan's stuff and shoved it in a bag he acquired from a drawer. Luckily, Logan was wearing pyjamas rather than the normal hospital gown. They walked down the seemingly empty corridors trying to find an exit. Logan would have known if they were in any other part, but he had never been to this medical wing before and so they were basically helpless. They walked around and around, surprised they hadn't seen any of the people that worked there. They could hear though. Walking down one way, they could hear yelling and screaming, reminding Logan all too much of what he had been through during his stay there. However, down another corridor, there was no yelling or screaming. Sometimes muttered conversations, but not like the other part. It wasn't hard to figure out that one corridor obviously had the newer, unchanged patients, whilst the other held the people who had been forever changed. They passed one room and Logan gasped.  
"T-t-that's the-the room with the electric chair" he whispered. The others paled at the thought of somebody strapping Logan to the chair and pluming volts into Logan's fragile body. Now they knew just what sort of pain he had been through.  
"I'm sure this place is illegal. They can't be allowed to do all the things they do to these innocent people" James commented, looking at another room that looked to have various weapons in.  
"Oh, it's not, I can definitely tell you that. But they had these big, bulky men whenever you went somewhere so you couldn't run away" Logan replied, remembering his time in this dreaded place.  
"How much longer do you think it'll be before we reach the exit?" Carlos asked. Rather conveniently, they rounded a corner to see a door marked 'way out'. Thinking no more of it, they pushed it open and walked through. As soon as they were inside though, they found out it was another room. Bright lights started flashing in a repeating sequence. Red, blue, green...red, blue, green and so on. Kendall, James and Carlos didn't look to be effected, but Logan was.  
"Guys...I feel...weird. I...I can't...think...straight" Logan told them. Even stringing together a complete sentence was hard as they heard a voice over an intercom.  
"Hello boys. I see you're trying to take Logan home. Well, we don't like it when we fail a patient here. And that means we can't let Logan go without him being changed." They all looked at each other in horror.  
"Well, we're not letting you take him!" Kendall shouted out. There was cackling, which echoed around the room and caused a shiver to run down each of the boys backs.  
"On the contrary, I think you will find he will come quite willingly. Isn't that right, Logan?" Kendall, James and Carlos turned around to see Logan standing stock still and unblinking. His eyes were glassy again, but not because he had been drugged.  
"What have you done to him?!" James yelled. More laughing followed.  
"Let's just say the lights are very...hypnotizing, don't you think?" they all looked at each other as realization dawned.  
"You-you've hypnotized him? Let him go!" Carlos seethed.

The voice over the intercom crackled back to life once more, the tone light and amused. "I'm sorry; I don't believe I can do that. Logan, back to the chair please. That's a good boy." It mocked, giggling slightly with insanity as Logan straightened up, eyes unfocused as his feet began to move against his will towards the electric chair room they had recently passed. Kendall gasped a little, lunging forward and wrapping his strong arms around Logan's slight waist, anchoring him to the spot.  
"Logan you can't! They'll hurt you again! Snap out of it, please!" The blonde cried, burying his face into the back of Logan's neck as he held on. The brunette in his arms said nothing, robotically pulling himself free of Kendall's grip and continuing his short journey towards the large door before pushing it open.  
"That's it, my angel, sit down; we must make you pure once more." The voice echoed as Logan's three best friends chased him into the horrible room. Logan silently made his way over to the electric chair, sitting down without hesitation and not even wincing when the metal restraints instantly clamped down around his thin, pale wrists, the helmet lowering down and resting on top of the brunette hair that framed Logan's head.  
"Logan no! Stop! Don't let them!" Carlos yelled, trying to run over to his friend, struggling harshly when James grabs his arms and holds him back.  
"Logan, please, snap out of it..." Kendall pleaded, looking up to the heavens. 'God, I may not believe, or be a Christian like Logan, but please, please don't let this happen, don't let someone who's so good and pure suffer any more like this, please!'  
The voice over the intercom echoed to life once more. "Good boy, Logan, you'll feel much better after this."  
Then, the lever lowered, allowing the volts to charge though Logan once again.

* * *

Logan didn't scream like they thought he would. His body juddered with the amount of electricity racing through it and his eyes squinted shut. The three boys could only watch on as bolt after bolt of electric current was passed from the chair into Logan's body. It seemed to be never ending as the force of the charge only increased every second. The intercom sounded again, a sound that had quickly become their worst enemy.  
"Don't be afraid, Logan. You know this will help you. But, why don't you show these boys how it hurts to become pure again? Show them what they've done to you and the lengths we have to go to, to make your pure again" the voice boomed and as soon as it stopped, Logan started screaming. They were filled with anguish and pain, coming from his heart, where it hurt the most. The boys just wished they could make it stop. But, they couldn't. If they went near him, they would get shocked too. Finally, after what seemed like ages, the chair stopped and Logan's body shuddered to a stop. Logan's body slumped and he was panting heavily. Suddenly, the door to the room opened and in came a man, looking to be in his mid forties, with jet black hair and piercing blue eyes. His nose was slightly crooked and his mouth held a sly grin. He was tall. Very tall. Taller than James and that was saying something.  
"Hello boys, glad to finally meet you in person" he greeted mockingly. The metal restraints around Logan's wrists unclasped and his body sunk further in the chair.  
"Logan! Come here!" the man all but shouted. Logan sprung back to life, his body stiffening again and his eyes going back to glassy. He stood up and walked over to the man who was treating him like some sort of experiment.  
"Good, you are almost pure again and you want to be pure, don't you my angel?" he asked in a soft, almost caring voice. Logan's head bobbed up and down, nodding. The man's grin turned toothy, showing sharp, pointy canines.  
"He doesn't mean that! He doesn't really think that! Stop this, now! Logan, come back to us!" Kendall ended his sentence almost begging. But Logan remained completely still. That was until the man said two, small but deadly words.  
"Kill them."

* * *

Logan stiffened up for a second, before beginning to step forward with slow and deliberate steps, his whole body shuddering every now and again from the small remains of electricity still trapped within his system, but he ploughed through it like a trooper, simply following the commands his master had set. Kendall quickly looked around the room, trying to find some way, any way to escape the situation they'd found themselves in. Logan drew closer, his steps shaking a little more, legs too weak from the electrocution to hold him up steadily, it was then that Kendall noticed it.  
The tears that had settled in Logan's unfocused cocoa eyes, the small hints of regret as the orbs struggled to focus on the three boys ahead of him. Kendall distantly felt Carlos pull on his arm, James taking the other while the two tried to pull him away and out of the room, away from their hypnotised best friend. But Kendall kept his feet firmly planted on the cold white marble beneath them, refusing to let his friends sway him.  
"No, guys stop, I have an idea..." Kendall reassured, lighting pushing their grip from him. James laughed out a little in nervousness.  
"Are you crazy, Kendall? He's going to kill us! Come on let's go!"  
"No, James! Logan won't kill us! He can't kill a fly let alone his best friends! Just trust me!"  
James and Carlos looked at each other, slightly concerned, but nodded a little, letting go of Kendall's arms and standing by his sides, letting out a small, cautious sigh as Logan approached closer.  
"Logan," Kendall began. "You're Hortense Logan Henry Mitchell, We dated for ages, you're from Dallas, Texas, but moved to Minnesota in 3rd grade. You're Christian but believe in Gay Rights, you've always been close to your parents. Me and your mother used to call you Logie-bear in front of everyone simply to embarrass you, you love video games and reading, you want to be a doctor. God dammit, Logan, remember who you are! Don't do this!" Kendall panted for breath by the end of his little speech, both him and the other two friends who watched Logan waiting in anticipation, hoping the talk had done something to help. But, Logan just kept walking unsteadily towards them, a single tear now floating down his cheek.  
"It... didn't work..." Carlos stated dejectedly, directing his sad gaze towards the floor. Kendall sighed, frustrated, while raking his fingers through the thick blonde hair upon his head.  
"Then I guess I'll just have to settle with plan B," Kendall said before standing up straight and confidently walking the small amount of space that had been left between himself and Logan. Kendall stayed quiet as Logan's overheated hands wrapped around his throat, only smiling gently at the boy in front. Then, slowly but with purpose, Kendall leant forward, locking his lips with Logan's.  
Everybody in the room froze with shock, just watching the two as the blonde of the couple pulled away, staring sadly into Logan's eyes.  
"Please, Logie, come back to us. Come back to me. Please..." He pleaded gently, running his fingers down Logan's pale cheek with a tender movement. Logan's hands loosened from around Kendall's throat, and dropped down limply to his sides. Chocolate eyes widening slightly in shock and confusion as the milky hypnotic mist faded, Logan gasped, staring up at Kendall.  
"I... you... Kendall... I love you..." With that said, Logan allowed his weak body to drop into a lifeless heap in Kendall's arms, unaware of the tall scientist screaming in rage that his hypnosis had been broken.

Kendall scooped Logan up and cradled him to his body. He had almost lost him...again. This was happening way too much.  
"Uh, Kendall, we still have a problem" Carlos whispered to the manic man advancing on them, now looking incredibly mental.  
"You might have broken my little hypnotic spell on him, but it won't last. His mind is too conflicted. It'll be easier to put him under again" he told all of them. Suddenly, the door burst open and in came three of the biggest, strongest men they had ever seen. They were all dressed in black and each wore leather, fingerless gloves. The men barged over, grabbing a boy each and causing Kendall to drop Logan. He landed not too gracefully on the floor. Another man entered and picked Logan up off the floor, holding him firmly. Logan picked this time to open his eyes again, looking extremely confused as he tried to see what had gone on in here. His eyes widened as he remembered and registered the strong, muscley arms wrapped around him. He started to struggle, but it was no use. Like the others, he was stuck fast.  
"It's nice of you to join us again, my angel" he said, stroking Logan's cheek. "I have great plans for you, Logan, you just need to listen and everything will be ok." Logan pulled his head away from the touch as the man went to stroke his other cheek.  
"I'm not going doing anything you say" he spat out, like vermin had entered his mouth. The man laughed.  
"Oh, yes you will." he said bluntly. "How about we get to know each other first? Hmm? Ok, well my name is Caleb, Caleb Mayner and I have been running this group of institutes for ten years now. And you..." he stroked Logan's cheek again before Logan could flinch away. "You are my greatest achievement." Logan's eyes had narrowed with anger.  
"I'm not some sort of...thing you created" he replied, seething with rage. Caleb chuckled darkly.  
"Oh, but you are. You are my angel. My creation. You belong to me. I have great things planned for you, my angel, great, marvellous plans. But, for that to happen, you have to listen. And you won't listen unless I make you" he sighed as the man holding Logan, gripped Logan's head and yet another came in, holding Logan's eyelids apart. Logan kicked and thrashed, but he was too weak to accomplish anything. His vision was invaded by Caleb, more specifically his eyes. His...beautiful blue eyes. They were so...breathtaking. He could just sink into them. He felt safe in them. Logan cried out as he tried to get away from the man. His friends were screaming, but they could do nothing. Logan desperately tried to get away; he knew he was too weak to fight him for too long. Caleb's eyes became more prominent and soon Logan found he couldn't look away. They were so captivating. They shifted and looked as if to be changing, to gold. Logan gasped lightly as he felt himself leaning towards the beautiful things before him, his body not listening to his mind.  
"That's it Logan, just look into my eyes and you'll feel so good. You'll feel so much safer" Caleb whispered, his voice now the only thing Logan could hear. This was scaring Logan, but suddenly, every coherent thought left his mind until it was blank and the only thing that mattered, were those lovely eyes and the voice that made him feel so safe. So secure.  
"You're mine now Logan. You always were. I created you. I am your master. You will listen to only your master. Nothing anyone else does can bring you out of this. Your only wish is to serve me and to do as I say." Those words filled Logan's brain. They were now his purpose. He had to serve his master. Nothing they could do could bring him out of this. He was created. Caleb laughed and turned to the boys.  
"Amazing isn't it?" he turned back to Logan and clicked his fingers. "Sleep now." Logan's eyes snapped closed and his body hung limp. Logan was soon taken out of the room by the man and Caleb went over to them.  
"By the time you wake up, we'll be long gone. Goodbye." Before they could react, they all felt something hard smash into their heads and fell to the ground, seeing nothing but darkness.

* * *

Logan's eyes slowly opened, quickly being assaulted by a harsh, bright light from above his face. He sighed lightly, slightly confused by the actions that had just transpired what felt like moments ago. His head pounded in time with his pulse, the blood rushing through his temples being a sure sign that the bright lights were not heaven, he was sure that you couldn't get a major headache while dead. But, where was he? Hadn't Logan just been kissed by Kendall just seconds ago and had passed out in his arms, feeling safe and secure? No, something had happened after that, but the memories just weren't coming to him, every moment he tried to pull from the experience just turned out to be a blur. The brunette genius tried to sit up, quickly finding out that his body was strapped down by several thick leather straps that had been bleached white. His normal Pyjamas had been replaced with a white hospital gown, and from the breeze he could feel, Logan was positive that his pyjamas were no longer on his body beneath the gown.  
"Tsk tsk, my Angel, don't try to move, it'll only make this harder." A voice echoed inside Logan's head. Jumping with shock at the weird sensation, Logan darted his cocoa eyes around the room, squinting slightly from the bright walls, and settled them upon the figure of Caleb in the corner. Memories rushed back to him, waking up after being pulled away from Kendall, being held tight while his best friends struggled at tried to get back to him, the beautiful, hypnotising blue eyes, then darkness. Where were his friends?  
"Oh, I'm guessing you can hear me then, my Angel?"  
Logan was once again shocked by the voice, eyes widening as he'd noticed Caleb's mouth wasn't even moving, but it was definitely his voice.  
"H-how are you doing that?" Logan stuttered, his voice cracking harshly from the strain it had been put under.  
"Ah, my dear Angel, you see, when they operated on your back and brain, they implanted some... shall we say... special abilities. This is just one of them, you being able to communicate with your mind. You can hear my thoughts, but I cannot hear yours. There may be other abilities, that is why you are here, to discover them. Your training will begin soon, which include Physical, Mental and Chemical Training. Each of these will allow us to unearth another ability. Oh, and don't even think about calling your friends for help, they'll never find us Logan. Never."

Logan panicked. How on earth could he get out of this? What was Caleb going to do to him? Why did he want to find out if he had any other abilities? All these questions running through his mind distracted him enough to not realise Caleb had undone the straps around his body. As soon as he did though, he leapt up and made a run for it out of the room they were currently in.  
"Stop, Logan" Caleb ordered smugly. Logan's feet suddenly stopped and he had to put his arms out to balance himself against the abrupt halting of the limbs below him. No matter how much he tried to move forwards or even backwards, he couldn't. It was physically impossible. Caleb chuckled at the naive boy.  
"Did you forget, Logan?" Logan only blinked in response.  
"You're still under my control. Remember my eyes? I can make you do anything, my angel and that includes making you cooperate. That is unless you want to cooperate without my...help" he sneered.  
"I will never cooperate with you!" Logan shouted.  
"Ah ah ah, do not use that tone of voice with your master, my angel. In fact, whenever you speak to me, you are to use master" he said in the same ordering voice. Logan found his head nodding of its own accord.  
"Good, now follow me" he instructed. Logan's feet moved and followed the towering man into a different room.  
He was now in a blank, grey room. There was a prominent smell of disinfectant and a red stain in the far right corner which sent shivers down his spine.  
"Stand in the centre" again, Logan's legs moved of their own accord and he stood where Caleb had told him to.  
"Now, my angel, this is a physical test. I will be able to tell a lot from this. I pray to the Father himself that if this goes wrong, he shall forgive you of your previous sins and look after you in his kingdom." Logan took a few seconds to realise what he was saying before gasping. He could die? He didn't have any time to think about what it could be, because suddenly, the ceiling opened up and a rock, as big as a double Decker bus fell out. Right on top of Logan.

* * *

Logan screamed loudly, finding himself able to move again as he covered his head with his arms and lowered himself to the ground, curling as small as possible and praying to the lord that he wouldn't die. Caleb began to speak again. "No no no, My Angel, stand." He ordered, and of course Logan's body complied against his will.  
The rock crashed down on Logan's poor abused body, eyes clouding over with the slight pain and dizziness that overtook him from the impact. But, surprising to Logan, he wasn't crushed the smithereens on the floor, the huge rock breaking into two like an egg shell on Logan's head. The brunette teenager felt a little blood rise to the surface of his scalp from the cut that had appeared, but Logan was smart enough to know that he should have a lot worse than that cut, his skull should have caved in with the force weight and mass of which the rock was.  
"Ahh, excellent, my Angel, now we have confirmed you have a form of enhanced strength. It appears that blunt objects won't hurt you as much as they would if you were a human. Lovely little perks of being an Angel, isn't it?" Caleb mocked slightly, shooting Logan a sly grin.  
"Yes, Master, lovely perks."

* * *

Caleb gave Logan three days to rest before his next 'training session'. 'Resting', meant Logan being strapped down to a bed and made to sleep whenever Caleb told him too. Of course, because he was under the man's control, he had no choice in the matter and unless he was woken up to eat (Caleb spoon feeding him, which was downright creepy) or drink (likewise with him holding the glass to his lips), he often found himself in a dreamland. It was when Caleb came in and unstrapped him, that he knew this would be a big day. He was yet again forced to walk ahead and down several corridors, before they ended up in a room containing a desk with three items on, a chair behind it and a chair in front of it.  
"Sit, my angel" that name had never been dropped. Logan was getting so used to it that he didn't mind it anymore. Was that bad? Once Logan was sitting, Caleb began explaining the task.  
"In front of you, my angel, are three objects. A pot of earth, a glass of water and a box containing a lit Bunsen Burner. We are going to see what you can do with these, my angel. If you don't cooperate, I will punish you severely, do you understand?"  
"Yes...master" as much as Logan tried to refrain from saying the word, he couldn't help it, it just poured out of his mouth. Caleb snickered.  
"Focus on each item and see if you can influence it in any way. Any way at all. Go on, try my angel." Caleb encouraged. Logan focussed. He put all of his strength into it. But he simply couldn't do anything to them. Caleb smiled smugly. This annoyed Logan, it annoyed him very much.  
"Stop it!" he shouted. "Stop smiling! What are you even smiling at?!" Logan felt his anger rising within his body, bursting out in powerful waves.  
"I hate you! You've taken me away from my friends, hypnotized me and now you're trying to see if I have all these weird abilities! No one should be made to do this, you're a monster!" his wings were flapping ferociously but not lifting him off the ground, his eyes flared with rage and his forehead drew into a frown. Suddenly, a huge gust of wind drew up, circling around Logan's form, building with force as he got angrier and angrier. Logan clenched his fists and the gale around him became somewhat of a tornado. Caleb smiled triumphantly.  
"Well done, my angel. Looks like we have found your element." Logan looked around and his eyes widened at what he was doing.

Screaming out in fear and confusion at the swirling gases around him, Logan allowed the control to drop, falling to his hands and knees in violent shivers of terror. What had just happened? Had he done this? The institute really had turned him into a freak! What kind of Human could crack a rock like it was an eggshell, read peoples' minds and create a tornado just from being angry? He was no longer human, Logan had turned into a monster, and that scared him more than anyone would ever know. Gripping his dark hair so tightly that his knuckles turned a sickly shade of white, silvery tears leaked from the corners of the terrified teen's eyes and collected in a small puddle by his knees. Caleb chuckled darkly, running his fingers through his silky hair.  
"Don't be scared, My Angel, you're amazing, my amazing, dangerous Angel. You and I will do wondrous things together, you can be sure of that. Soon, I will create others. Other super beings just like yourself, but you will be the best. The most special. The first. Together, our group of angels will take over the world."  
Logan held fear in the pit of his heart; he knew Caleb was being serious.

* * *

**Oooh! We hate Caleb! Do you? He's so evil! And the things that they have done to him, it's horrible! Will the torture ever end for Logie? You'll have to wait and see. Remember, please please please review! It'll make writing when you're sick all the worth while! It might even make us feel better! Let us know what you think about the characters, or what they've done to him or what you think might happen? Any suggestions? We love to read ALL of them! See you next time! **

**Thank you,**

**~swagUPwindowsDOWN & Lunachu :) x**


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